Playlist Of The Heart
by waatp
Summary: Valentine's Day Challenge. Life for Beca started and ended at Barden. Desperately wanting to leave the cloud of drama behind, she packed up and headed to Los Angeles to begin living the happy, fulfilling life she always wanted. Only it wasn't meant to be. Will anyone be able to save her before she's beyond repair? Jeca one shot (that will be a few chapters!). No Kleenex Warning!
1. Need You Now

_A/N - Here is my contribution to the Valentine Day "Jeca "Challenge._

_But, because this is how I roll, this is not going to be just a **one shot**! I think when it is actually finished, it could be 30,000 words plus so, to save everyone falling asleep while reading, I'm splitting it up and posting it over the next few days._

_Thank you to **cajunqueen714** and **Raven12** for taking the time to read through, correcting my mistakes and pretending there wasn't many (!) and convincing me that this was publish worthy when my self doubts kick in (roughly every thirty seconds!). And for saying I can post in stages!_

_Chapter One of about Twelve!_

* * *

**Playlist Of The Heart  
****.o0o. Chapter One - "Need You Now" .o0o.  
by Lady Antebellum**

**_Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor  
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?  
For me it happens all the time._**

**_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now  
And I don't know how I can do without  
I just need you now._**

**_Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door  
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?  
For me it happens all the time._**

**.o0o.**

Beca Mitchell cut a lonely figure as she sat on her overstuffed leather sofa with the lights on low in her tiny studio apartment, in a sought after neighbourhood in the Hollywood Hills, just outside central Los Angeles. It was Friday night and it had been a long, hard week but here she was with her feet tucked under her fleecy college blanket. She was the epitome of a party animal. But in truth, she wouldn't have it any other way.

She pushed her dinner around the plate, poking at the broccoli and chicken pasta that she had collected on her way home. Discarding the plate on the spare seat, she reached for her half empty glass of Fireball and Dr Pepper and clutched the frosty glass with shaking hands before raising it to her chapped lips. She heard the ice clink as she took a healthy gulp of the drink and swirled it around her mouth for a moment before swallowing. She hissed loudly through her teeth as the cool but spicy liquid burned her taste buds as it rolled down her throat.

This was her fifth drink of the night if anyone was keeping count but Beca was nowhere near stopping. She knew she only had herself to blame for the way she felt. She was her own person after all and she was living the life she always wanted to. She told everyone she was happy with her decisions and had no regrets; that leaving Atlanta was the right thing to do. She missed people, of course she did; she had a heart ... it was just _slightly _broken. But she'd tell everyone she was leading an idyllic life, her career was on the up and up, she was getting recognised in the streets and stopped for autographs, hassled when she was out buying groceries, complimented and condemned for everything she wore and was busy fending off invitations to all the latest parties and shows.

Bullshit baffles brains.

Right?

In truth, she lived alone in a highly secured apartment complex and only ventured outside to work, to get food or when she felt forced to attend a party for the sake of her job. The only time that she was happy was when she buried under a pile of blankets, getting drunk and listening to music. She would even consent to watch half a movie every now and then but sometimes the memory of just who had gotten her into the movie picture phenomenon would cause tears to leak from her eyes.

She would brush the tears on her cheeks away angrily and be cross at the stab of pain in her heart but her hand would instinctively reach out to pick up her phone. She would scroll through her contacts until she found _him_; the name from the past, the only person she ever thought about after the clock struck midnight or when she was needy and desperate.

"Hi, it's me." She would speak loudly and clearly into the room, oozing confidence. However, the slightly twang of a drunken tongue belittled her words. "Oh, I'm fine today, thanks for asking ... doing well ... doing _really _well, in fact ... yep, making shit loads of money ... tons of friends ... well yes, best friends with Beyoncé actually ... highlight of my week was getting finger banged by Katy Perry, you know how it is! ... wait, what? ... no, there is no reason for the call ... I just wanted to hear your voice. Gotta run anyway, busy, busy, busy."

She would wonder constantly what _he _was doing, every second of the day. She would stand in the shower and think of his lips on her skin, her knees wobbling slightly at the memory of his delicate touch. She would forget to stop at the store for milk on her way home from work and wonder if he would have picked it up for her understanding her love for a glass of cool, creamy milk before bedtime. She might stub her toe on the corner of the stupidly large sofa and need him to come over and kiss it better for her, knowing they would invariably end up in bed together. She drank too much and wanted him to look after her; to fetch her some Tylenol and her hangover cure of pickles and popcorn. She would get angry at life and want him to help calm her down. She hopes he would find her in the dark when the path turned bleak and she turned on herself. And as she succumbed to the pull of sleep at night, she would always have his name on her lips.

She might dream of Barden, of the time they spent together and where it had all gone wrong. They had shared more than a kiss after she had helped the Barden Bellas win the ICCA finals in her first year of college. He had whisked her away during the after show party, borrowing Donald's car and driving them to a local hotel. She was unsure at first how she felt about that until he had laughed and mentioned her freaky college roommate busting in on their _alone _time. She hadn't expected to fall for him quite so hard. As he had peeled the clothes off her that night, he had also peeled off the layers that she had built up around herself.

As she drained the last of her Fireball, she thought back to that night; the night she felt connection for the first time in many years.

**.o0o.**

"I've been waiting all year for you to suggest this." Beca said as they entered the hotel room, and she had almost expected him to back away from her, the way his eyes shot up and looked across the room.

"You've lead me on a merry dance all year."

"Yes, I did. I took the time I needed to discover myself."

"And tonight?"

"Oh, it became clear to me. I wanted you and I needed to make it right so you would want me too." Beca had said and she recalled the words easily. "I guess I opened my heart and let you in."

"You _sang _to me."

"I did!" Beca said and smiled as she took a step towards him.

"And by the way, I didn't forget about you either."

He reached out tentatively and put his hands on her hips, looking almost nervously into her eyes. Beca bit her lip softly, stepped forward and placed her hands on his shoulders. He groaned and roughly pulled on her hips before he stooped down a little and kissed her hard. She kissed him back, her hands resting loosely around his neck as she ran her tongue along his lip and he moaned again, his hands trailing around from her hips to her ass, rubbing up along her back and shoulders, and then finally cupping her breasts. She sighed softly against his mouth, biting down gently on his lip.

"I wanted to do this with you the second I saw you but even more so after the first time I heard you sing." He said gruffly, his lips edging towards her neck as he caressed her breasts. Beca's nipples hardened under his palms, the cotton of her navy tank top being an extra layer to trap in the heat. He was sucking on her neck, one hand on her breast and the other rubbing up and down her hip and stomach. She tilted her head back, hissing slightly as he touched her.

Without warning, he put his hands on the back of Beca's thighs and nudged her legs apart. In a single, swift movement, he lifted her off the ground. She squealed in surprise and wrapped her legs around his waist. Beca could feel his hardness pressing against her as he turned and carried her over to the bed, considerately setting her down on the edge as his lips rested against her the entire time.

"Fuck!" He mumbled, pulling back to look at her. His hand trailed up her leg and hip, along the bare skin on the side of her stomach, and finally stopped on her breast again, over her shirt. Her nipples were already hard, and he pinched the left one lightly through her shirt. Beca gasped when he did and he kissed her harder.

Her nipples were incredibly sensitive, and each time he rolled one between his fingers, her clit throbbed uncontrollably. She whimpered against his mouth and he reached up with his other hand, cupping her other breast and pinching that nipple too. She began to unbutton his shirt as he tugged on the hem of her tank top, pulling the tight material over her head. Her breasts bounced out of the shirt as he pulled it over them and she heard him breathe sharply as she finished pulling it over her head and dropped it on the floor. When she looked over to him, his eyes were wide as saucers as he stared at her breasts. She pulled off her bra next and tossed it on to the floor.

"Everything okay?" Beca asked, watching him as he looked down at her body. Her nipples were dark pink and incredibly hard. She knew her skin was flush, the pink tone spreading from her cheeks to the base of her neck and he had stared at her for a long moment before saying anything.

"Your tits are fucking amazing!" He gasped, gradually pushing Beca off him so she was lying on her back, then immediately pressed his mouth to her breasts; lamenting as he licked and sucked them. He lavished attention on one before switching sides, cupping her other breast with his hand as he rolled his tongue around her nipple.

Her legs were haphazard on the bed and he was lying between them and before long, with the attention to her chest, she began to feel herself throb for him. She arched her back and began to grind against him, needing some friction on her clit. Without moving his lips from her breast, he reached down with one hand and gently rubbed her slit through her trousers. Unbuttoning them quickly, he slid them over her hips so that they pooled around her ankles and she kicked them off.

Kissing him hard, she reached up to unzip his pants, undoing them quickly and she could see his cock straining against his boxer shorts, the bulge enticing her. Beca ran her hands along his chest and stomach, before sliding one under the waistband and wrapping it around his cock. He groaned again, leaning down to resume sucking on her tits as she started to stroke his junk. It was smooth and throbbing in her hand, and bigger than she expected. She rubbed it gently and he pushed forward into her hand, his compliments stifled by her tits as he pressed his face against them.

After a moment or two, he reached down and grabbed her wrist gently, stopping her movements. He kissed her hard on the lips and then along her jawbone before trailing his lips down her neck, sucking gently. He pulled her hand out of his boxers as he kissed her neck. He licked down her chest and gently ran his teeth on her nipples, making her gasp. Beca felt his lips trail down her breasts and onto her stomach, where he licked and kissed down to the waistband of her panties. He then started to pull on them, sliding them down her hips, his lips trailing along behind them and gently kissing the inside of her thighs as he slipped her panties off.

He sat up and just looked at her for a moment and she blushed when he didn't say anything.

"You're fucking gorgeous." He whispered, leaning forward to place little kisses across her belly. He ran his tongue over her hips, taking one of her knees in his hand, he pushed her legs apart and kneeling onto the carpet, he trailed back down to her inner thighs, plunging his tongue inside her without warning. She gasped as he swept through her folds, taking fistfuls of his hair in between her fingers at the sweet sensation. Reaching up he cupped one of her breasts as he began to nibble on her clit. Beca cried out softly, arching her back off the bed as he dipped his tongue back inside her entrance. She could feel him smile against her core as he wiped his mouth on the bedspread and looked up at her.

She reached down and tugged his boxer shorts off, freeing him from the confines of the cotton and she could have sworn she saw a flicker of relief on his face with such a simple action.

"How do you want to do this?" He asked, his voice a little husky.

"Me on top?" Beca mentioned and he nodded. "It's my first time so go a little slow, okay."

He lay down on the bed and rolled onto his back. After adjusting himself a couple of times, he pulled Beca on top of him so she was straddling his lap. Taking hold of him with one hand, she slowly lowered herself onto his cock, crying out into the room as she felt him enter her.

Giving her time to adjust to the feeling, he inched his hips upwards, giving her time to stretch around him. She winced slightly as she realised he was buried hilt deep inside her. Letting her get used to his bountiful size, he was amazed at the heat inside her and bit down hard on his own lip to stop himself from getting carried away; the first heady feeling already making him feel like he was losing control.

Taking her hips in his warm hands, he encouraged her to start moving and she raised herself up on her knees before dropping back down on him; a soft oomph escaping from her each time.

She began to feel braver as she took control, riding him faster and panting as he rocked his hips to meet her thrusts. Her breasts began to bounce and he could hardly contain himself as he reached up to grasp them between his fingers, marvelling at their firmness yet loving their softness.

"Fuck..." He groaned as he slipped his other hand in between them both, finding the bud of her clit and making slow, deliberate circles. Beca couldn't understand the onslaught of feelings as the fire began to work deep inside. She placed her hands on his chest as she bucked his hips, squeezing him as best she could and loving the way his eyes would roll in the back of his head. A few more thrusts and she could feel herself involuntarily clamping down around him. He slowed for a moment and she felt the pulse within herself before he thrust faster and harder causing her to lose words as she held her breath.

He pressed down hard on her clit, squeezing it between his fingers and watched as Beca came undone as she rode him. Throwing her head back, he felt her walls thicken as she collapsed on top of his chest crying out his name. She rode out her orgasm as he chased his own, needing the release after nearly a year of pent up want.

Rolling her onto her back, she was still shaking as he hooked her knees up over his shoulders and thrust into her, deeper than they both thought possible. The fireworks began in his eyes as he watched her face twist in ecstasy and he plunged into her again and again, drawing the head of his penis across her front wall, inadvertently knocking her g spot. She sucked in her breath as she felt the itch again and looked at him directly in the eye. She knew she was about to lose it for a second time and squeezed her muscles once more as he found it harder to push inside.

"I love you." He whispered and the words hung in the air as two tiny tears forced their way from her eyes.

"I love you too." She murmured and that was all he needed to hear. He picked up the pace and just before he tipped over the edge and spilled his love inside her, he watched her eyes roll into the top of her skull as she succumbed to her second orgasm of the night, just a moment before his own.

He collapsed on top of her and together they lay panting before he pulled out of her, a soft pop resounding around the walls. She watched him move off the bed and walk, naked, across the room. He flicked the light off and shuffled back in the dark, pulling the covers up with him as he climbed back in the bed, pulling her in towards him as he lay down on the pillows.

"Never leave me." Beca said, as the harsh fatigue pulled her into its darkened depths.

"I promise I won't." He said, planting small kisses on her cheeks. "I love you."

And Beca had believed him.

**.o0o.**

Shaking her mind clear of the memory of losing herself to the only man she ever loved, Beca cast a lazy, Fireball marinated eye towards her evening's work which was spread out all over the floor in front of her. It didn't serve her well to dwell on the happier times of her life; it always just made her sad. Instead, she gazed down as the dozens of photographs on the floor; some old, some recent pictures that littered the solid wood flooring of which she was so damn proud. It was the reason she decided to rent the overpriced condo in Victoria Gardens, bypassing the smart, neat small houses on Warwick Street or the airy loft, opposite Lowestoft Park with the huge covered balcony that she'd been back to look at twice.

She was by no means a neat freak. The floor was lucky to be swept once a week if she was in a good mood but there was something about the hardened and highly polished wood that said 'grown up' to her. She was a fairly tidy person if you didn't count the large pile of dirty laundry she claimed was 'art' in the corner of her bedroom; a small room that was squeezed in just past the living room and had just enough room for her bed with its pretty decorative, ornate bed frame.

Using the toes on her left foot, she pushed a couple of the photographs around, bunching a few together as she absentmindedly swirled her ankle. Her recording studio; the only one to have offered her a job after she upped sticks, quit school and moved to Los Angeles three years before, wanted new artwork for her latest album. It was a back to basics tribute to yesteryear, using what they described as old school techniques; almost a tribute or a throwback to school days, or as Beca likened it to ... music her dad would buy.

So her manager had asked her to find pictures of her when she was younger; to use as a backdrop on the album cover. She was fast becoming known about town as the talent to watch with her no nonsense, clean attitude towards music. The studio was cashing in on her notoriety. Beca had spent quite a few hours going through her large box of photos and albums, drinking heavily as she swept through the years. She found a couple of her and her Mom and Dad before the divorce that she decided would be nice to put into frames and a couple from the summer she spent with her cousins up by Walton Creek. She could barely remember that time, her memory blurry as she had now gone past the happy drunk stage now.

As she hit her teenage years, the photos dried up. There were a few of the old school friends she had had during Middle School, mostly taken at birthday parties where vibrant hues were clearly the 'in thing' and every girl was smiling, happy and covered head to toe in loud colours and pretty dresses. All but Beca that is. She could see where and when she had started drifting away from her friends; it was screamingly obvious by the way she stood apart from the group and she had let a momentary smirk reach her lips as she realised her fascination with plaid had begun when she was thirteen.

She liked the photos of her teenage years and laughed loudly as her obsession with eyeliner got stronger until her Dad had packed up and left. She quickly thumbed through the photos of his wedding to Sheila and she felt her lip curling when she looked at their happy faces. She hadn't wanted to attend their nuptials but her Mom had insisted. Beca winced a little as she remembered the huge showdown she had with her over being 'forced' into a dress and high heels as Sheila insisted on her having a clean, shiny ... essentially make up free face.

The only good thing to have come out their marriage was her little brother who she loved and adored. Danny had helped to soften the icy attitude between Beca and Sheila, although sparks still flew quite regularly. Beca started her first year in college the year Danny turned two and he thought the sun shone out of her ass. They had black and white photos taken and she pinned them to her dorm wall and loved waking up to his cheeky face in the morning. But by the time the little boy was four, Beca had moved to Hollywood and six months later, her father had relocated to be closer to her, taking a job at UCLA in the English department. They bought a beach house in Santa Monica. Danny was overjoyed at being close to his big sister again and late one Saturday afternoon, she had let him play the drums in the studio, recording it and actually featuring the slow beat on one of her albums a few months later.

She found the rest of her pictures from her first year at Barden. The dull and sullen attitude she had when she arrived on the first day was soon replaced by goofy expressions and silly poses with her friends and she was still rocked by how easily she had managed to fit in, despite her reluctance and resistance. She liked the ones taken when they had been performing although she still rolled her eyes over the starched shirts and the prim hairstyles. She had kept the photos with the Bellas in them despite everything that had happened in the following year and how the Bellas broken oath would never be fixed. She wasn't quite sure what to make of their final rehearsal and the abundance of silly pictures she had and especially the ones when she was sandwiched between her two best friends.

Feeling suddenly angry at all that had transpired to make her _have _to leave Barden, she inwardly growled as she set her glass back on the small bureau that served as a table in her living room, knocking her phone to the floor. Leaning down, she grumbled as the device was just outside her reach. Stepping up on boozy feet, she lost her footing on the plethora of slippery pictures, sending herself crashing painfully to the floor.

"Fucks ache." She blubbered out, spitting out the words wrongly as the Fireball tickled her throat and the alcohol dulled her brain. She felt the pain in her ankle seconds later, the liquor not quite numbing the itch as she rubbed the joint. She didn't want to cry but every single time something went wrong, her immediate reaction was to call _him _and she knew she shouldn't. He was the only person who could make her _feel _anything. Even if it was disgust at herself for the horrible bad habits that she had picked up.

"I've lost it. Save me." Beca cried out, the memories invading her soul as she recalled the first year of Barden and the easy way a certain brown haired male had wormed his way into her life. "I can't do this without you anymore."

Seeing the scattered photos, she angrily pushed them away; furious as the realisation set in that she _still _needed him. She reached for the bottle of liquor, laying half-propped up on the sofa cushions, unscrewing the cap and necking huge gulps of fiery alcohol. She set her focus on her door, willing it to open and for him to burst through and come to rescue her.

Her head began to pound as she concentrated on the three doors in front of her; their multiplication testimony to the litre and a half of Fireball she had downed since getting in from work at nine. She wrapped her arms around her legs, making herself as small as possible.

"Come for me. Rescue me as you did before. You are supposed to know that I need you. I shouldn't have to beg for you to come." She wailed into the dimly lit room and rested her head on her knees. "I knew there would be a day when you would finally stop caring, you ignorant _fucking _bastard."


	2. Alone With You

_A/N - Chapter two of the Valentine's Day Challenge._

_Hope you liked the first chapter; now we are delving in a bit further and the story takes shape a little. As before, many thanks to **cajunqueen714** (Bekah) and **Raven12** (Stacey) for their help and constant support. Wholeheartedly suggest you check out their Valentine Day stories. One will tug at your heart strings and the other will have you giggling like a school kid._

_Many thanks for the reviews on my first chapter; they are always appreciated :) and I thank you, on behalf of my fellow writers too, for your time!_

* * *

**Playlist Of The Heart  
****.o0o. Chapter Two - "Alone With You" .o0o.  
by Jake Owen**

**_I don't see you laugh  
You don't call me back  
But you kiss me when you're drunk_**

**_I don't know your friends  
Don't know where you've been  
Why are you the one I want?_**

**_Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay  
Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay  
Don't say it doesn't matter cause it's gonna matter to me  
I can't be alone with you_**

**.o0o.**

It always started out the same way. Jesse would hear the ping from his phone and just know the message was from _her_. He had fallen into the trap so often of distractedly grabbing his phone and thumbing the screen without looking to see who was ringing or texting. He had then been compelled to speak with the caller. He hated himself for being pulled back in every single time; sucked back through a vortex of pain as he heard the words drunkenly mumbled into his ear.

"Jesse, it's me. I _need_ you."

To get around it and potentially save them both some heartache, he had set her up with her own ringtone. That way he could pretend he hadn't heard it and he could do his best to ignore the message and the subsequent bullshit that she had to say. He went so far one time as to put his pager, iPad and phone into the fridge and shut the door on it all; the seal keeping the sounds locked inside. He hoped that would stop him from being dragged back into the dark, twisted and murky world that she seemed to crave. But, she was like a drug to him. He couldn't help himself when it came to her.

Unfortunately, Jesse hiding his technology in the fridge had caused his mother, the formidable former actress Thelma Swanson, to worry. When she couldn't get in contact with him, she had turned up at his doorstep after three hours of trying to call and began to pound so loudly on his front door that his neighbour called the police. She was out of her mind with unnecessary fear and had managed to convince herself that he had been abducted by aliens or had died in his apartment and was being eaten by a hoard of mutant, bicycle riding squirrels dressed in French Maid outfits.

He had paid the price for his night off when, after scrolling through the messages as he climbed into bed, he saw that _her_ flurry of abusive texts and calls got worse as the evening went on and the drunker she got. The last voicemail was from the CA Cedars Sinai in West Hollywood, suggesting that he hurry to the hospital as he had been listed as her emergency contact. He raced through every stop sign and red light to get there, but of course, she had discharged herself by the time he had arrived. She then promptly went missing for ten days.

He was happy to admit to himself and his therapist; a dark haired man in his fifties that reeked of lavender and cigar smoke, that he wished she would never call him again. She always did though; the next time she was in trouble. There was never an apology.

He took the helpful suggestion from his shrink and tried _just_ hanging up when she called. He endeavoured himself not to feel guilty about clearing the call but he was a decent guy and felt the culpability immediately. So Jesse just let her ramble and told himself it would the last time he did this. He knew how the evening would play out. It was always the same every time and it never ended well, for either of them.

"Say something? Anything? Are you there? Hello?!" Her singsong voice would filter through the speaker and he would close his eyes, wishing he had never actually met her. Or at the very least, because he had made a commitment to her, he did feel that he needed to be stronger than the intoxicating hold she clearly had over him.

He would sigh and run his fingers through his hair, or put down his dinner plate or even get out of bed depending on what the time was when she decided he was worthy of a call. He would reach for his jeans and Chucks that he always kept by his side of the bed. For time never had any meaning when she called. Anytime; day or night. She knew he would always come running.

"I'm here." Jesse would say quietly into the darkness, his throat thickening and he would pat his pockets for his keys. "Where are you this time?"

She would mumble an address and give an excuse as to why she needed him. He would leave his apartment, walk quickly to his beaten up Camaro that held the secrets of their many incandescent rendezvouses and before he knew it, he would spend another night searching the streets of Los Angeles for her. He'd try not to think about the hours of much needed sleep he was missing out on or how his manager would give him so much ball-ache for turning up to work late, slightly dishevelled or simply not at all. He would use all his personal and sick days just on trying to catch up on himself, shop for groceries, do laundry or take a shower.

But as much as he hated it, he would still often find himself driving the dark streets looking for her. He knew all the shortcuts and back alleys. The cops had also stopped him for soliciting so many times that he knew their first names and badge numbers on sight. His car was littered with energy drinks cans and takeout food wrappers as he snacked constantly to keep himself awake. He kept the radio on low, as he knew if he heard a mention of her famous name; it would always cause a little piece of him to die.

No one knew what she was really like.

He'd drive along with his window open, listening for the sounds of a party, the sirens of the cop cars racing towards trouble or her screaming his name if she had made it as far as the beach. It was actually harder to get to her if she was relapsing in her own apartment or the one the studio rented for her; a nice airy, three bedroom penthouse suite on Crabtree Grove. The security was that good that, even though all eleven security guards knew Jesse by sight and by name, they couldn't let him in without a pass. Which, of course, she never thought to give him her spare as she craved the control she had over him.

She was everyone's darling, a Hollywood sweetheart and to the outside world she was perfect. Beautiful, talented and funnier than most with her image used to advertise everything from weight loss pills to skin care to health food. She would appear on late night talk shows and talk about her successes, the reasons why she moved to Los Angeles in the middle of her college years and if there was anyone special in her life.

"Oh, there's no-one. _No-one _special at all." She would laugh and brush off the question and Jesse would sink into the cushions on his sofa, feeling the burn. Later on, when she called him to come and collect her; the darling he'd just seen on the screen would now be unkempt, minus shoes, clothing or her purse and she'd wearing a wig so she'd be unrecognisable at the party she would have found herself at. He would ask her why she failed to tell the world about their relationship and she would drunkenly pass out with a wide set grin on her face before she could answer.

He would never tell the media what she was really like and she knew that but as he would carry her to the car, he would vow that this was the last time and that he would definitely send photographs to all the news stations to show her up but of course he never did.

And why?

Because he loved her.

After her garbled message or plea for help, Jesse would try to call her back a couple of hours later into searching for her, to get an exact address or a location of where she might be if she wasn't at home but she would _never _answer her phone again. He would worry only for a few moments before the thin chuckle would escape his lips knowing she never accepted any of his calls as that wasn't the way it worked. She wouldn't call him back even if he left a message and the next time they spoke, she would have a thousand excuses for him and beg for one more chance to make it right.

Jesse didn't know her family; she never spoke more than two words about them and neither one of those words were favourable. He knew of her father, having met him a few times while they were at college. He was never sure at the time, why her dad was there every single weekend to check up on her, pushing his presence into her face and her life and demanding that she make the most of her time at university.

If he had known then what he knew now, he would have steered well clear of her. He'd have given her a wide berth and not devoted his time and energy into make sure she ate properly, not falling into the wrong crowds, got her studies done on time and he certainly wouldn't have let her leave the Bellas; the one things she had seemingly held onto when the proverbial shit really hit the fan.

She had made him fall in love with her, to worship the ground she walked on, to give up on _his_ own studies to follow her across the country to pursue _her_ dreams. He had let so many opportunities slip through his fingers because he had to be there for her. It was _always_ about her.

He hated her for it.

As he cruised through the streets surrounding the Hollywood Hills, he would wipe the venom from his mouth with the back of his hand, knowing it served no purpose to arrive angry. He knew not to push it that far until the next day when he would prompt her to eat breakfast and drink strong, hot coffee. He would coax her to take a shower or bath and gently soap her back and wash her filthy hair, running his fingers over her skin that he had once placed loving kisses on and drawn delicate shapes over as they would watch TV together. They would make plans for the future that held promises of children, a dog and trips to the lake for long weekends.

He would encourage her into clean clothes that were not covered in spilled Fireball, blood, tears, sweat and goodness knows what else. He kept a stash of things that belonged to her in his apartment just for occasions like this; for when she stayed over, irritated tremendously the next morning when she discovered she was locked in his bedroom with a hangover that resembled death. He would pull up a chair next to her as the pain rippled through her body and the ache of the withdrawal made her buck against his touch, her head pressed deep between the pillows to block out the demons.

Jesse would watch her fight the visuals rolling through her mind like snapshots and the earworms that repeatedly tore into her and she would look wildly at him, silently begging him to make the fear and ache go away. His heart would break as he watched her thin body convulse and shiver against the coolness of the air conditioning. He would stand quickly, kick off his shoes and lose his jeans in the three steps that he took to reach the side of the bed, sliding gently next to her on the mattress that held her scent even when she wasn't there.

And tonight was no different. He could have recited the next sequence of events perfectly and yet, he was drawn to the drama like a moth to a flame. He slipped under the blankets and pulled her towards him, wrapping his muscly arms around her stick thin frame and holding her head tightly against his shoulder until she stopped quivering. She fought him for a few moments; she swore that the gentle, tender way he held her burnt her skin but he refused to let go. She twisted her body around his as she finally began to relax, running her fingers up under his tee shirt and through the dark twirls that coated his chest. She stretched up to kiss him and he told himself_ 'no, be strong, resist'_ but his body instinctively responded to her touch and he ached to be everything that she needed him to be.

"I can't be here." She mumbled through cracked lips, the sign of a hard night partying for her. "I was having fun and you made the fun go away. I hate you for that."

Jesse swallowed down his thoughts; if he hadn't pulled her out of the crack den he had found her in, she would have been in a heck of a worse state than she was right night now. But in between her words, she ran her fingers over his lips, his chin and the dark stubble that he hadn't had time to shave; the evening spent trying to find her instead. Jesse tried so hard to resist her delicate kisses on his mouth and she knew how to hold his face so he couldn't pull away; this scenario was as old as time.

She made up the rules of the game and was a professional player. She reached down into his shorts and cupped him in her hands as he shook his head from side to side, wanting her to stop so he wouldn't feel like shit for the next few days. She teased him, tickled him, played with his junk until he couldn't bear it anymore and he began to get annoyed but more so at himself rather than her. He whistled a tune in his mind as she sunk her teeth into his shoulder and planted kisses at the base of his throat. He did his best to ignore the pull on his hardening cock as she did all she could to entice him and he hated himself in advance of what he knew would follow.

He _knew _that she wasn't always in control of her emotions and his mind and thoughts _were _still functioning despite everything she was doing to him. He was also human. She waited it out until he was red in the face from trying to control himself. As soon as she felt him begin to respond to her touch, the moment where he caved and began to kiss her back, she froze. Jesse slipped his fingers through her soft, bouncy hair that he love so much and rolled her onto her back, placing butterfly kisses on her forehead and cheeks. Still frozen, she laid stock still for a few moments, letting him lay his love on her before she turned over and rejected him, shutting down and retreating into her shell.

She laughed in his face as he attempted to try again, peppering her back and shoulders with kisses and the little bite marks she loved. She cursed under her breath, called him names and alternated between crying, saying that she didn't feel loved by him or screaming at him to rip off her_ 'fucking panties' _and make her feel something between her hips. He knew she needed him to take away the demons pilfering through her memories but he was also aware of just how fragile she really was. He turned her over as she eventually opened her legs wide to him, and invited him to take advantage of her sex and seek the relief that they both needed. When he ran his fingers over her smooth, pale skin, inching his fingers downwards in what he hoped she accepted as a loving touch, she turned on him and began to screech that he wasn't a real man or that he _'be fucking her already'_.

He knew it was the drink talking, but he got mad at her anyway.

Blinded by passionate need and with a hint of uncharacteristic agitated rage, Jesse jumped out from under the sheets, flipped her onto her hollow stomach, grabbed at her pale thighs and dragged her towards the edge of the bed. He tore off her panties and tossed the thin lace away knowing that he would find them tucked under the chair in the corner of the room in a couple of days and regret everything.

"Take it! Take me!" She yelled, raising her ass off the bed and offering herself to him, needing the angry sex to make her feel _something_. He reached into his bedside table drawer and blindly grabbed at a condom, pulling the package apart hastily and rolled it onto his aching dick. She growled at him to hurry the fuck up. He took a moment to make sure he was covered properly; he wanted to trust her that she wasn't shagging around but he did have his doubts. He had only had sex without a condom once but that was in a time long forgotten.

He stood between her legs and watched as she clutched the sheets in preparation, clawing fistfuls of the cotton as she prepared herself for what she needed most. He growled in defeat as he ran his hands over the curve of her ass, giving little thought to anything anymore other than getting what he needed out of the bargain. He wrapped his hand around his swollen junk and ran it up and down her slit, always amazed at how wet she was for him, always ready and wanton despite the abuse and rejection falling out of her mouth. She cooed as he stretched her opening slightly before driving his shaft deep inside her with one long, smooth thrust. She cried out in pleasure as she always did. He never hurt her or caused her pain as she was always more desperate to feel him inside her than he was at needing a release himself and loved the drama that came with her doing this to him.

He stayed buried deep inside her and felt her walls rippling around him, her wet heat pulling him in intensely. He waited until she started to roll her hips and he gently began to withdraw and thrust into her after that, each drag and pull begging her to give up her rock and roll lifestyle, trying to show her that life could be good without the nights of inebriation and bad decisions. He poured his love into her, desperately trying to show her how the white powders up her nose caused nothing and nobody any good but he _could _help her, if she just _let _him back in.

She taunted him by lifting her hips upward, giving him complete access to her core and thrust her ass back against him, bucking, as he continued to drive deep inside her, the sweat beginning to form on his brow as he slammed into her again and again. She winced in desire, beginning to breathe more heavily and moaning loudly as each hard slap of his body against hers wrenched the air from her lungs. Jesse pushed her head down onto the mattress and she easily fell forward. He continued to pound into her, getting her to submit to him, desperate for her to feel something other than the effects of drink and drugs and he watched with delight as she started to fall apart around him.

"Oh God!" She hissed out, hiccupping her moans in such a volume that he knew he would have to apologise to the neighbours for the next day. "_Fuck_!"

Spurred on by her reaction and that she was fully with him in that moment, Jesse gave it everything he had. He dug his fingernails into her hips before grabbing wildly at her wrists, pinning them to her sides as he laid his body over hers, leaning down to nibble at her neck and breathe heartily into her ear. The cool breeze across her sweaty shoulders sent a shiver right through her to her core and her clit throbbed, aching for attention.

When Jesse felt himself begin to start losing control, he withdrew completely, flipped her over to face him and covered her mouth with his lips, dipping his tongue inside to find hers. With his knee, he nudged one of her legs up higher, allowing better access as he entered her again, slipping in easily through the soft folds. His shaft began to rub over her pounding, puffy bud and she moaned her reaction into his mouth. She started to shudder as the white noise would fill her ears and she appeared to start fighting against his restraint.

He slowed down and she barked at him to hurry up as she chased her orgasm, wanting the release that only he could give her. Despite everything, she put him through, all of the pain and torture, she did stay true to him and she had never slept with another man. Although when Jesse asked her for her honesty, she refused to give him a straight answer. Jesse could push all of her buttons and hit the right spot every single time; she just didn't understand gentle when the drink had gotten hold of her and would swear like a sailor. He was desperate to fight for her liberation just to ease the pain.

"Come for me." He whispered as he lifted himself up on his arms, off of her chest, wanting to watch the moment when she would join him as an equal and she's be there _with _him when the smile she'd post on her face as she came with a roar, the reason he had left his entire life behind. Even if it was just for a split second; the memory of their cookie cutter relationship the rational logic he tried so hard with her; it was enough for him. She twisted her face in anger as she realised she had been tamed for those few moments.

"Jesse, don't you fucking dare do–"

"-Let go." He murmured back, as his balls banged against her core and he picked up the pace, forcing her body to start shaking with pleasure. He thrust so deep inside her that he could hear her hips creaking and he watched her fight her release as he continued to pound into her, giving her what she had to have and taking what he needed. "Come for _me_."

"Get off me!" She yelled suddenly as all of her senses awakened and her brain engaged back into the moment. "You fucking asshole. You played me!"

The words stung him as she realised what she had done, the memory of the evening flooding into her brain ... the lines of powder disappearing up her nose and the bottle of whiskey spilling down her throat. And she blamed him for working so hard to make her feel so good.

"No, you asked me to do this. You need me to. You called me. I know you only kiss me when you are drunk but you reached out. That means you know that I-" Jesse explained to her, between thrusts as he leant over her once more to take a nipple in his mouth and suck hard on it.

"-Don't. Don't say it." She said as her walls began to tighten uncontrollably around his thick cock despite her resistance and he moved to the other breast as her hips continued to buck against hers.

"But I do." He felt her breaking down as she started to succumb to the feelings in her belly and he so wanted to see the moment when her eyes would fly open and he could get lost in the blue hues that he adored so badly he decided to paint his bedroom in the same colour so to match them.

"No! Get off me!" She cried out as her back arched off the bed, this time for a different pain as she wobbled on the cusp of her release, trying so hard not to fall over the precipice. "Please! No!"

"But I do. I love you. Oh God!" He yelled out as his pent up anger, frustration and love spilled out inside her, heating up her core as the latex caught it all. His heart thumped as he continued to give her what she needed. He felt her insides clamp down around him one last time, milking him as she fought against his words. He linked his fingers with hers and felt her wetness coat his balls as he thrust one last time to tip her over the edge; the moment arriving when her beautiful mouth formed a perfect round 'O' as the fireworks exploded in her belly. Her bright blue eyes flew open, as he rightly guessed they would do and he saw the soul that he knew was still in there and missed desperately. "I love you, Chloe."

* * *

_A/N - Not quite sure if I needed the "dun, dun, dun" Jaws music on here or not! On the first proof read by cajunqueen714 and Raven12, I got good feedback of "oh, wasn't expecting that" so thought I'd "roll with it". Chapter 3 will be up later today and because it's Sunday and I'm in a relatively good mood, I might post chapter 4 too!_

_Thanks for reading. I am always keen to see how my weird mind is received!_


	3. Me And My Broken Heart

_A/N - Chapter 3 of my Valentines Day Challenge story is dedicated to two of my writer friends - **cajunqueen714** and **Raven12** as, without their support, I'd never get anything published. Ladies, whether it be my longer chapters for my established stories or one shot ideas, you are always there to bounce ideas off, put me straight when I go awry and read through my rubbishy words and unformalise me a little! Thank you for your love and support ... and the arse kicking when I need it. It's sometimes harder to tell your friends to sort out their shit than it is someone you aren't so close to.**  
**_

_Bekah, thank you for Beta'ing this chapter for me. You were very polite and said there wasn't much to change! You are too kind ;) Just don't let me get too big headed, okay?!_

_So, here is chapter 3 and it looks like a couple of folks were confused by the last couple of chapters! Chapter 1 was Beca talking about Jesse and how much she missed him. It showed that she missed him desperately but was too stubborn to call him; but there is more to the story than "she" was telling you. Chapter 2 was leading you down the garden path a little and Jesse was leading you astray but just to clarify, he hasn't spoken to Beca in three years since she left Barden to start her new life. She has been battling sadness and depression and turned to the bottle to get her through the day. He, in turn, has an addiction of his own and that's his girlfriend, Chloe (who is a Hollywood starlet who succumbed to the darker side of life). Hope that clears that up! If not, PM me or leave a review :) Or just trust me that I'll clear it all up before the story ends!_

_Thanks for reading :)_

* * *

**Playlist Of The Heart  
****.o0o. Chapter Three - ****Me And My Broken Heart .o0o.  
by Rixton**

**_All I need is a little love in my life  
All I need is a little love in the dark  
A little but I'm hoping it might kick start  
Me and my broken heart  
I need a little lovin' tonight  
Hold me so I'm not falling apart  
A little but I'm hoping it might kick start  
Me and my broken heart_**

**.o0o.**

Saturday mornings in West Hollywood often saw many recognisable people walking around with wads of cash in their pockets and a collection of small dogs in brightly coloured handbags. The rich and famous of the Golden State would jump out of their mid-life crisis purchased sports cars or their overly expensive, elite model sedans signing autographs and posing for photographs with fans; enjoying the adoration.

A few would open their homes to companies like 'Star Tours' and allow nut jobs to poke about in their azalea bushes or steal stone ornaments from their driveways. They'd announce where they were vacationing, wearing just the right bikini or be caught catching an awesome wave as a member of the paparazzi would be walking past. They would tip heavily so that a grateful employee would run to the press about it. Some would attend conventions, flamboyant in their belief that keeping themselves in the public eye made them more likable and popular. They would be present at all the glitzy and glamourous award shows and attend the opening of an envelope, so desperate for column inches in the tabloid newspapers. A few opted to appear in reality television shows and show the crass, humorous but often embarrassing way they lived their lives.

For others, they would do all they could to keep their lives low key, to simply blend in with the general public and try to live as normally as they could. They would drive decent and moderately priced vehicles but without personalised number plates, leaving the 'wasn't that him from that TV show' or 'wow, she looks the spitting image of so and so from MTV' on the publics' lips and the double takes would be forgotten by the time scrambled for cameras were replaced back into bags. The unassuming celebrities would go to the normal gym to work out. They would eat at a public restaurant, but take a table at the back. They would buy a paper and head to the park, just to sit on a bench and watch the world go by; blending in as best they could. They tried to remain anonymous.

And Beca was one of them.

Her name was more recognisable than her face so when she stepped out into the cool, crisp air on that Saturday morning in October, nursing the absolute hangover from hell, she just wore her overly large sunglasses and a baseball cap pulled down low. She rarely was hassled on the streets but if she did have someone approach her, it was usually a genuine fan. Most would politely ask for an autograph or a picture. She was fiercely protective of her privacy and kept herself to herself and her real fans understood that. She would always happily oblige anyone who took the time to say hello but would have an excuse ready so she could move on quickly.

She avoided the paparazzi easily enough. She used a stage name, Aria and never played her own music in clubs if she was going to be out amongst the masses. She preferred to remain anonymous and usually requested a booth to play from. She rarely gave out interviews and declined all offers to appear on television. She watched her back, kept her eye out for cars that slowed down if she was walking anywhere and always made sure she used the back door of her gym when she left in the evening. She had her groceries delivered to the studio and never ordered take out food, one because she didn't eat all that much and two, because she was always worried about who would be turning up at her door. She got better after she moved into the condo in Victoria Gardens as the security was pretty tight but she still only trusted people and tradesmen that had been recommended to her from her studio or her manager and more often than not, someone from the studio would wait in at her apartment if she needed some work done.

Dressed simply in jeans, Chucks, a black sweater and a brightly coloured scarf covered in tiny butterflies around her neck to blend in with the preppy look of the neighbourhood, she walked the six blocks from her condo to the local Starbucks. She was in dire need of something that could quell the burn in her belly and quench the thirst in her mouth; the memory of her date with the bottle of Fireball still rolling around in its glory.

A Police patrol car screamed past her as she approached Channing Walk and she winced in pure pain as the loud, whirling siren bellowed out its signal and entered her brain louder than if she had sat amongst an overly enthusiastic steel drum band. Cursing under her breath, she wobbled a little and felt the ripple of her stomach as she fought off her nausea.

She knew she should regret her drinking. She knew she should stop but it was the same each night; drinking until her liver whimpered and her kidneys started to ache and then her emotions would be dulled and her heart wouldn't beat fast at the memory of his name. She would sometimes have the sense to make it into her cosy bedroom with the pretty butterfly bed sheets and dozens of pillows where she might fall into a heavy slumber for a few hours in an attempt to sleep it off. More often than not, she would just carry on until she felt compelled to sing at the top of her voice, ripping her vocal cords to pieces as she yelled out her pearls of wisdom from her bedroom window.

This would usually mean a delay at the studio the next day as she sipped honey, cinnamon and lemon in an attempt to get herself well, all mixed with a shot of whiskey of course. Her manager always had plenty to say as well and the words were always stern, a little unkind, honest but reverent. Beca had it written into her contract that she had to keep her clients' drinking habits an absolute secret.

Liz Jackson, co-owner of 'Jackson and Butterbee Professional Management Agency', had seen her fair share of newcomers to the showbiz fall by the wayside after only a few months working in the business but there was something about Beca Mitchell that reeked of talent, dedication and an unwavering work ethic. Even if she did drink to distinguish some demons, Liz never pushed for answers but she didn't let Beca use having a hangover as an excuse not to work to her full potential. Beca respected her for that and tried her best.

Her recording studio had been so impressed by her talent, despite her relatively young age, that after just four months of working with them, they asked her to join partnership with them. Initially she had declined, stating personal reasons as the excuse but they had been persuasive with their offer and granted her three months grace while she made up her mind and sorted out the issues that were holding her back. As life began to get a little easier for her, she decided it would be foolhardy to ignore their offer and within a month, the studios were rebranded. Bulletproof Studios were soon on the highway to success. She knew it was a cliché but it worked.

Turning the corner and walking straight into a trash can, she mumbled her apologies before shaking her head and rolling her eyes at the lack of sense that she was making that morning. Dusting the front of her pants, she jumped slightly at the sound of a car horn a few metres behind her and winced as she heard tyres screeching along the road. The crunch of two vehicles colliding in a fender bender was unmistakable; the metallic sound echoing up the street but she chose not to turn around and look. She simply didn't want to get involved.

As Beca pushed open the door to the Starbucks on the corner of Albert and Canary, she thought of 'Busy Lizzie' as she affectionately called her manager when she was bellowing at her down the phone at three in the morning, asking why her pizza was late or why no one had cleaned her windows in six weeks. Beca decided she would pick up a coffee for Liz on the way into the studio, as she knew Liz would be hanging around the recording booths waiting for Beca to put in an appearance. Beca knew she was running late and Liz was pretty easy to bribe with coffee.

Beca approached the counter, lifted her sunglasses up, placed them into her purse and tried her best not to gag as the smell of coffee and chocolate invaded her nostrils. She smiled as brightly as she could at the barista serving behind the counter.

"Hey, how are you today?" Jim, the resident happy worker of that particular branch of Starbucks, said. It was a small Starbucks and being off the beaten track, it wasn't very busy or popular. This suited Beca just fine.

"I'm good!" She replied, lying through her teeth. "How are you?"

"Oh I'm good too! Hey, thanks for the VIP's to Viper Room. Awesome night! Han says thanks too!"

"You're welcome!"

"What can I get my favourite Rick Dees fan today?" Jim asked, smirking.

Beca grinned and wondered how he managed to remember so many details about his customers. She had had the 'Rick Dees' conversation with him well over two and a half years ago, late into the evening when she was working on her resume in the warmth of Starbucks, stealing their free Wi-Fi.

This was in the days before she had a permanent place to live. There had been some money from her father but she was too proud to use it, determined to make it on her own if she could. She returned his credit card to him with a note to say thank you but she didn't need his help. She didn't need anybody.

She rented a tiny and sparsely furnished room that she had found on Gumtree for fifty dollars a week, choosing not to spend much time there other than to sleep, store her belongings and shower. One of the other occupants, Fat Hal, spent most of his time loitering outside the shared bathroom, waiting to catch a glimpse of any one in a bathrobe. Beca had him labelled the resident weirdo within a couple of days and had avoided him at all costs.

She took any work she could lay her hands in, fitting it in around responsibilities and the commitments she had. She sold her mixing equipment to pay for a better place, well one that had its own bathroom and a decent lock on the door and found that she worried less about her belongings now that she had next to nothing. She kept herself to herself as she kept plugging away at the free ads, taking any gig jobs she could. It might only have paid her ten dollars but that was enough to buy food for the day or at least, if she was desperate, the bus ride back home when she was simply too exhausted to walk.

Jim had kept an eye on her in the early days, sneaking over some of the muffins that he claimed were stale but they were still warm from the oven and left over sandwiches that were going to be thrown away. She never forgot his kindness and as her luck changed and her success grew, she remembered him. He worked in the Starbucks at the weekends and alongside his wife of three years, Hannah, he was a youth worker during the week, volunteering with street kids and the homeless but he got his kicks out of going to clubs. He was decent, friendly but respected her privacy. And for that alone, Beca valued his integrity.

Beca gave him as many VIP passes as she could and even took a few of his teenage charges that showed an interest in music into the studios, releasing a couple of charity singles on her albums and promoting his good work. She began to earn a level of respect for her unwavering dedication and in turn, the donations began to flood in. In truth, Jim was one of the only friends she had made in Los Angeles but she had to keep her distance. She didn't want to get close to anyone ever again. He was giving her the little bit of love she needed to get her through life and unbeknown to him, he had platonically helped kick start her broken heart.

Her father, however, was a good man and knew she needed him but would never request his help; being as stubborn as her mother. Six months after she had moved across the country, he had accepted a job and moved to Santa Monica, bringing with him Sheila and a very enthusiastic Danny. It was Sheila who brought up the idea that Beca should move in with them until 'the dust had settled and her heart healed' and it was Danny who finally got her to agree. She moved into their pool house, temporarily of course, and reluctantly accepted their offer of free lodging in return for babysitting, which she gladly did. Beca was surprised that, despite doing everything she could to dislike Sheila, she actually found her a great source of comfort and support and had even welcomed Beca's Mom very warmly to the house when she came to visit.

Beca had loved having her Mom close by and was so happy she had stayed for a month. She had eventually accepted help from her Mom and had managed to get herself a small, second hand truck which she found useful for when she attended gigs with all the equipment she eventually rebought. Jim, her friend from Starbucks had been invaluable as a temporary roadie in the first few months of her on the Hollywood circuit.

"For that ..." Beca growled, pretending to be annoyed as she dipped her hand into her purse and brought out four gold passes for Avalon, a raved about club in Hollywood. She wafted them around the room a little before fanning herself. "... you don't get these!"

"Bitchin'!" Jim said, his whole face brightening as he looked at the tickets in her hands. "Are you serious?"

"Yes! I have a guest set planned for next Friday and Saturday night. Gonna join?" Beca said as she heard the door to the Starbucks open behind her. She didn't turn around but she flinched slightly as the door banged noisily. She pulled her scarf around her neck a little, as the draught caused goose bumps to travel down her spine.

"Fuckballs, yes!" Jim said, taking the cards from her and looking at them with blatant glee. "You are so good to-"

"-Yeah, yeah, yeah ... whatever, dude." Beca said, rolling her hands around in her purse for her wallet. "Just get me a double ... no, triple expresso, caramel latte. Extra hot. I will take a muffin too please. Warm it up for me? Also, can I order two cappuccinos to go in about half an hour. You'd best make them extra hot and double cup them. I'm on the shoe leather express today."

"You got it buddy. Just let me know when you are about to go and I'll fix 'em for you. Anything else?"

"Oh!" Beca said as she looked down at the counter. "Yes please, I'll take a box of the little caramel waffles for Wi ... for later."

"You got it."

"Thanks. Oh, and because I'm in a good mood today, I'll pay for the next customers order as well. Swipe my card twice, okay?"

"Paying it forward today huh?"

"Well, you know ..." Beca said, handing over her Starbucks card and looking at her badly chipped nail polish at the same time, mentally noting she needed to book a manicure. "... kinda been holding up the line!"

"You are a good person." Jim said, swiping the card through the machine. "Say hi to Wi-"

"-I will, thanks."

Beca took back her Starbucks card and smiled up at Jim. He returned the smile before looking up to the next customer who was still standing near to the door. She pulled her sunglasses out of her bag and slipped them back on as she turned to scan the empty coffee shop. Even though it was a quiet location, she was still surprised by the emptiness. She saw that her favourite chair and table was free; the comfortable armchair by the window where she could watch the comings and goings for half an hour or so, while hiding out of the general view at the same time.

She moved over, slipped into the seat and curled her legs underneath her before retrieving her iPod from the side pocket of her purse. She tucked her bag carefully onto the empty chair next to her and unravelled her ear buds, cursing the cable for being tangled for no reason.

She had just jammed the buds into her ears and settled back into the cushions when Jim brought over her order on a small tray. He placed the cup and muffin and a handful of napkins down on the table before bowing ridiculously low and grinning like a fool. She nodded her thanks at him with a wink as she greedily swept up the cup of coffee and raised it to her lips. She was about to take a healthy swig of the caffeiney goodness when she looked up towards the counter and saw the other customer staring right at her.

Choking on the mouthful of hot liquid that filled her mouth, she almost dropped the Styrofoam holder as she took in the penetrating set of eyes looking directly back at her.

Her blood ran ice cold.

* * *

_A/N - Chapter 4 will be out tomorrow but anyone who knows me as a writer, knows I have absolutely NO intention of starting to put the puzzle pieces together just yet. I hope you enjoyed chapter 3. I've thoroughly enjoyed writing this mini fic and the song researches have been great fun and made me really listen to the words and their meanings rather than just singing along (badly) out of tune in the car and frightening any of my passengers._

_Thank you for reading x_


	4. Drive By

_A/N - Special thanks, as always, to the beautiful **cajunqueen714** for beta'ing this story for me and turning my overly prim English words into something readable and understandable! Thank you for all my reviews and follows. I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am enjoying writing this Valentine's Day Jeca Challenge._

_Also, wishing **jutord** a very Happy Birthday :)_

_So, here is chapter 4 ... my only hope is that it starts to confuse everyone even more than the first three chapters! :D_

* * *

**Playlist Of The Heart  
****.o0o. Chapter Four -**** "Drive By" .o0o.  
by Train**

**_On the other side of a street I knew  
Stood a girl that looked like you  
I guess that's déjà vu  
But I thought this can't be true  
'Cause you moved to west LA  
Or New York or Santa Fe_**

**_Or wherever to get away from me  
Oh but that one night  
Was more than just right  
I didn't leave you 'cause I was all through  
Oh I was overwhelmed and frankly scared as hell  
Because I really fell for you_**

**.o0o.**

Jesse woke up with a headache around seven the next morning. He smacked his lips together a couple of times before he opened his eyes and looked at the clock on his bedside table. He groaned at the time. Knowing he'd only managed about three hours sleep, he closed his eyes tightly to see if he was likely to drop off again. He curled up under his blanket as he played through the events of the night before.

He had come home from work and cooked himself something to eat. He drank a light beer and watched an old sports game on the TV. He knew he had dozed off on the couch as the light from his phone woke him up just before ten and it was Chloe. She called as she always did, having lost her purse and a shoe and would he '_get the fuck out of bed and come and get her'_. He knew he had winced at her choice of words but slipped on his shoes and collected his jacket and keys nevertheless and headed straight out.

As he opened his car door, he wondered how different his life would have been if he had been man enough to admit his mistakes and take his lumps, to man the fuck up and do everything he needed to do to sort out the mess that he had created. He took the easy, cowardly way and three years down the line, he was paying the price. He allowed himself a moment of regret; just a tiny little bit of time to wonder where she was in life these days. He still got the funny flicker in his belly when he thought about her and very occasionally he would hear a song that reminded him of the girl from his past. With so little spare time on his hands, he found that over the months he had begun to forget her smell, the way his hands could hold onto her hips and the loving way she stroked his face.

He wondered, as he stretched out under the blue checked duvet, if he would ever see her again; to have the chance to apologise and explain where it had all gone so wrong. He loved Chloe, he knew he did and while she was difficult and basically a complete shit to him on a daily basis, he would do anything for her. He had tried on so many different occasions to get her some help for her addictions, to talk through her issues or for her to attempt rehab, discreetly of course. There were plenty of treatment facilities that would quietly take in celebrities, even the rising stars of the silver screen.

Jesse was still running through all the thoughts in his mind and the events that took him to where he was today when the sound of someone retching in his bathroom drew his attention back to the current day. Immediately lifting his head off the pillow, he looked round for the redhead who he'd been emotionally attached to for over three years and saw she was missing from her side of his bed. Looking towards the bathroom, he could clearly see her bent over the toilet.

Shuffling out of bed, he reached for his boxers and slipped them on before shuffling towards her. Sifting his fingers through his hair, he pushed the door open and canted his hip against the sink.

"Can I get you anything?" He asked and braced himself for the torrent of abuse he knew would be coming his way.

"How 'bout you _fuck_ off?" Chloe said as she settled down on the linoleum and looked up at him, her huge blue eyes still shining brightly. Jesse felt his throat close a little. She ran her fingers over her face and groaned slightly as she began to rock back and forth.

"Want some water?"

"Fuck you."

"Chloe?" Jesse sighed.

"Just get me my purse. I need a fix." She spat out angrily.

"No." Jesse said simply, moving away from the sink and edging towards her slowly.

"I said, get ... me ... my ... purse." She growled.

"No." Jesse repeated as he reached over to flush the toilet.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"I don't have one." Jesse said simply, turning to dampen a cloth by the sink and holding it out to Chloe so she could wipe her mouth.

"Then why are you up in my face with your shit?" Chloe snapped back, knocking his hand away that held out the washcloth for her.

"Excuse me? I'm trying to help you." Jesse said, leaning down and wiping Chloe's chin. She didn't try to fight him off.

"Then why won't you get me my purse. What's your problem?" Chloe repeated.

"Clearly I'm not the one with the problem."

"What are you saying?" Chloe said, fixing her wandering gaze on him and trying to focus as he took a spot next to her on the floor. "Fuck off. Get away from me!"

"No."

"Are you trying to screw with me?"

"Of course not." Jesse said, keeping his voice strong. "I'm here to help you."

"You wish I were dead, don't you?" Chloe asked.

"No. No, not at all." Jesse said and looked a little confused as Chloe's face seemed to crumble slightly. "Would you like some breakfast. I've got waffles ... or waffles."

"No, I don't want any fucking breakfast."

"You sure. You want some eggs?"

"Fucks sake J. I'm decorating your toilet and all you can ask me about is food."

"Exactly." Jesse said, inching closer to her the whole time. He slowly raised his arm and placed it lightly around her shoulders. "Need to give that poor tummy of yours something to work with."

"I guess." Chloe said as she allowed herself to lean against Jesse for a moment. "I really could use my purse though."

"You don't need what's in there." Jesse said, determinedly.

"I do. I need a fix. Can you get it?"

"I'm afraid not darling. That bad boy didn't make it home with you last night."

"Oh ... oh God." Chloe said as she tucked herself into his shoulder. "What did I do? Oh God. Was I bad?"

"It's okay. Really." Jesse said, relaxing a little as he sensed that this particular morning after was not at all like he feared it might me. "Why don't you come back to bed for a little while."

"I don't even remember what my schedule is today."

"It's Saturday sweetheart. We have no work today and there is nothing planned." Jesse said gently, testing the waters.

"I need my purse." Chloe said, her attention shifting quickly.

"Why?"

"I need some happy."

Chloe looked up at him again and pleaded silently with her eyes. She sniffed a couple of times before a familiar rumble in her gut forced her to hug the toilet once more.

"How about you come back to bed for a couple of hours."

"Okay." Chloe amicably agreed. "As soon as I am done talking to God on the big white telephone."

Jesse peeled himself off the floor and headed towards the kitchen. He filled a glass with cool water from the fridge and headed back to bed, setting the tumbler down on his bedside table. By the time he had fluffed the pillows and laid back down, Chloe was pulling on the light switch to darken the bathroom. She wobbled back to bed on unsteady legs, climbed over Jesse and sank into the pillows, drawing the blankets up over her. She was shaking intermittently. Jesse reached for her and drew her to his chest. She folded tidily into his side and laid her head over his heart.

"J? Do you love me?" She whispered, as he ran his fingers over the curve of her back.

"Why do you ask?"

"You never say it anymore."

"I look after you all the time. I pick you up when you need a ride. Make you eat and wash your clothes." Jesse said as he planted soft kisses on the top of her head. "Surely that says it."

"I guess so." Chloe said quietly. "If you can't say the words right now, can you show me?"

"How do you mean?"

Chloe lifted her head from his chest and winked at him. She lifted herself up onto her elbow and with her right hand, she drew lazily circles on his belly. Running her fingers down his happy trail, she dipped her hand underneath the waistband of his shorts but he quickly pulled her hand away.

"You're sick. This won't help."

"Don't you want me?" Chloe asked, sitting up and spilling the covers so they pooled around her waist. She shook out her hair from her shoulders and leaned her head back, knowing that Jesse couldn't resist the curve of her neck or the swell of her breasts when they jiggled.

Jesse groaned and tried hard to resist but his fingers itched to touch the pale skin that he knew so well. Despite her hard partying, Chloe kept herself in good shape and looked after herself. It showed in her lean, taut muscles and soft skin. Jesse couldn't look away and instantly felt compelled to reach for her waist and pull her on top of him. Snaking his hands over her ribs, he cupped both breasts in his fingers.

"Oh, hmmm." He hummed as he ran his thumbs over her nipples. She began to slowly rotate her hips, grinding down into his lap.

"Show me you love me." Chloe repeated as she spread herself over him, pulling down his boxers with one slick move. He kicked them off and lost them in the bed sheets. Laying fully on top of him, she began to kiss his neck, moving up his strong jawline and planting sweet kisses on his lips. He noted quickly that she had used mouthwash and he was touched by her thoughtfulness. He tried hard so not lose control.

"You should know I do." He murmured in between kisses as she gyrated on top of him. He was already rock hard as the naked redhead wiggled about. She slipped a hand between them and wrapped around his swelling junk.

He swung out an arm towards his bedside table and tugged on the drawer, dipping his hand inside for a condom.

"We don't have to, you know?"

"Don't ... have ... to ... what?" Jesse gasped as she ran her thumb over the crown of his cock.

"Use one of those." Chloe said, nodding towards his hand and the square package clasped tightly within his fingers. "We could try for a baby."

"I think ... that's ... something ... we need to talk about ... properly." Jesse responded, trying to keep his voice even, despite his hips jerking about everywhere. He couldn't think of anything worse for the two of them right now. Chloe was so unstable at the best of times and not in the best of health. To her credit, she nodded slowly as she took the condom from him and reached down to roll it onto him.

"This is a treat." Chloe said.

"What is?" Jesse huffed, desperately trying to control himself as Chloe raised up onto her knees and lined his penis up to her entrance. He reached down to help, surprised how ready she was for him.

"Me being on top. You have always refused to work this position before." Chloe stated simply, without malice. "It's my first time this way so go a little slow, okay?"

"What?" Jesse said, a sliver of a memory filtering through his mind, back to the only other time he had let a girl ride him before, tucked away in a sweet hotel several years ago. He shook his head to clear the memory, hating the feeling that was washing over him. "I can't do this."

"Of course you can." Chloe said, as she lowered herself onto him, sinking down until he was buried inside her. Jesse's eyes rolled back in his head as Chloe clamped down around him. She hissed slightly at the dull soreness as the memory of their angry sexcapades the night before made itself known.

"No!" Jesse suddenly called out, grabbing her hips and trying to shake her off.

"J? What the hell?"

"I just can't." He said, flipping them over and laying her on her back. He pushed back inside her quickly and leaning down, bit down hard on her bottom lip before mashing their mouths together in a bruising kiss. She soon forgot everything as he carried on doing the one thing he knew could easily distract her.

As they continued to make love, Jesse couldn't stop the feelings rushing through his core. Only they weren't the feelings for the girl who he was bringing to orgasm time after time as she clung onto him, loving him completely for taking her mind off of the drugs she was so addicted to. As he chased his own orgasm and just before he collapsed on top of Chloe, he had the passing thought that as much as she was addicted to the white powders and booze, the party and dangerous, habitual lifestyle she followed, he was just as addicted to Chloe and the drama she brought to him.

**.o0o.**

It was a couple of hours later that Jesse quietly slipped out of the house and into the driver's seat of his Camaro. He loved his car, bought second hand with his third paycheck. He loved the buzz he still got when he turned the key in the ignition and the engine coughed into life.

Pulling out of the space in front of his apartment, he headed out on to the main street, tasked with finding _'something especially yummy'_ for breakfast for the redhead in his bed. Even though she was in a good mood and mostly sleeping off their bedroom Olympics, he didn't trust her completely and had made sure everything sharp or poisonous was locked away before he left.

He drove past their local Denny's but that didn't appeal to him on the crisp, cool Saturday morning. He decided on the IHOP but that was the different direction so he carried on down Manley Street knowing he'd find something he liked the look of. He was feeling quite chilled out and relaxed as he lifted his sunglasses out from the sun visor and fixed them on his nose. He switched radio channels and began to beat his thumbs on the steering wheel as Aria's newest mix, the one that had been tipped to take the musical world by storm, strained out of the speakers.

He was strangely drawn to the tune as he made a left onto Carson Place. He remembered there was a small Starbucks just past the corner of Albert and Canary and knowing his love for the little caramel waffles they sold, he decided to head over that way. Stopping at the light, he pulled out his phone and checked to see what Chloe would like, knowing she'd order the same thing as she always did but he knew he should ask, preventing a potential spitting match. It was his quiet way of checking up on her.

He pulled away from the light when the car behind honked its horn; Jesse having been distracted by his phone and he looked up the street. There wasn't that much traffic on the road and he drew his gaze towards the sidewalk on the other side of the street and saw a small, skinny girl with long brown hair that shone in the morning sun. She was dressed in jeans and Chucks and looked like she fit in well. He smiled a little as he watched her walk into a trash can and apologise to it. There was something familiar about her purse and his brain twitched a little as he tried to remember if Chloe had one; she lost a lot of bags, phones, shoes and wallets.

_'If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that was Beca.'_ He thought to himself.

He felt a stabbing pain in his chest as he began to put everything together. He knew he recognised that purse. And the long flowing chocolate hair. And the overly large sunglasses. And he did a double take as he realised that baseball cap she was wearing looked incredibly like the one she wore when she was at Barden. He whistled loudly as he realised how ridiculous he was being. He remembered the conversation with her father when he couldn't find her at college, the night after everything went so horribly wrong and Jesse clearly remembered Dr Mitchell telling him she'd moved back home to New York to be near her Mom and wouldn't embellish any further. He thought he'd heard Sheila, Beca's stepmom, call out from the study area _'tell him she's gone to Santa Fe to get away from him' _but he was never sure if that was what she said as the door was being pushed closed in his face.

He never got over her leaving him.

Yet, he knew the whole thing was his fault and he remembered the months afterwards trying to explain how much he loved her to anyone who would listen to him. It had overwhelmed him and scared him half to death that he had fallen so deeply in love with her and he bitterly regretted his actions during his second Spring Break at Barden. Over time he had learned to swallow the guilt and move on but he never forget what he had done. And now the girl on the street served as his penance as he continued to watch as she brushed off the front of her pants and continued towards the door of Starbucks.

He was so busy watching her, trying to remember if Beca took similarly small steps or clutched her purse to her side in the same way that he didn't see the car in front of him slow down to a stop. He was travelling too fast to stop so he sounded his horn a few times as he slammed on his brakes in a desperate attempt to stop. He was incredibly lucky to have such a good braking system as he hit the BMW in front of him at a fairly low speed, causing more surface damage to the bumper on his Camaro and the front side panel as he turned the wheel to avoid rear ending the vehicle in front.

Grunting to himself at his own stupidity, he stepped out of the car and walked to the driver's side. Through the window he could see the driver, a young male, slipping the car into neutral and collecting himself as Jesse tapped on the glass. The driver rolled down the window and looked up at Jesse.

"Hey man, I'm sorry." Jesse said, thoroughly apologetically. "Are you okay?"

Jesse braced himself for an onslaught which he knew he deserved. Having Chloe as his girlfriend for the last few years had taught him how to preempt a show down and how to back down to get the injured party to keep their cool. To his surprise, the young man didn't look too angry with the whole thing.

"I'm cool bro. it's all good." He said as he stepped out of the car. "Doubt much damage, you know?"

He walked around to the back of his car and surveyed the damage. Jesse was stunned when he began to laugh.

"Oh, you have got me out of such a bind."

"Um, how?" Jesse asked, clearly confused.

"I'm late for the girlfriend and she'll be pissed that I'm late. And now I got a good excuse."

"Oh." Jesse said. "Well, let me give you my number and-"

"Nah, no need. My brother has a chop shop. He'll fix it up. Serious bro, you've actually helped me out!"

"Let me pay for the damage at least. Take my details down and I'll sort it all out."

"It's cool, really. I was thinking about driving into a wall to get myself out of trouble."

"Just how late are you?" Jesse said, laughing quietly.

"Three days man, three days. I was with this other chick over in Beverly Hills and she kicked me out so-"

"Right." Jesse said, not quite understanding it all.

"Don't worry about it, okay dude. Just get your own sweet ride fixed up. A classic Camaro like that deserves a decent tune up." The young man continued, nodding his head towards Jesse's front fender. "Keep smiling brother."

Jesse was just about to insist that the driver take his details and call him for the money when he slipped back into the drivers seat and started the engine.

"Are you sure I can't-" Jesse began but the BMW was away before he could finish the sentence.

Shaking his head, he picked up a couple of pieces of metal that had come loose from his own car and kicked the broken taillight towards the side of the road. Acknowledging that quite a line of cars had formed behind him, some overtaking when there was no traffic on the other side of the street and most of them beeping their frustrations as they drove around the stranded vehicle, Jesse slipped back into the drivers seat and prayed his Camaro would start. Luck was on his side as he moved away from the point of impact and he continued down the street, feeling a sudden need to return home.

Making a U turn when the road was empty, he carefully made his way back towards his apartment listening to the engine in case it sounded different. He passed the Denny's that he had thought about stopping in as he first drove down the road and then suddenly remembered the brown haired girl going into Starbucks. Reasoning to himself that it couldn't have been Beca as he'd been living in Los Angeles for three years and had never once come across her or heard any mention of her name.

Chuckling bitterly to himself, he reasoned it was the guilt taking over his rational thought and continued down the road to the IHOP, wishing he'd turned around fifteen minutes before. He wasn't going to let this bad incident ruin his day, putting it firmly to the back of his mind and as he returned to his car, having collected his order of double blueberry pancakes and headed back towards home, he trained himself to be positive. He doubted Chloe would even notice the dent in the front of his car and he'd swing by the mechanics on his way to work in the morning.

The feeling that he had missed out on something didn't leave him all day and in the end he put it down to the accident and not handing over his details to the BMW driver.

_'Because, what else could it have been?'_

* * *

_A/N - Things start to come together in the next chapter or two. Hope you enjoy Chapter 5; it'll be posted probably tomorrow. Thank you for the support xx_


	5. Running Away

_A/N - Many thanks to **cajunqueen714** for beta'ing this for me and for spending hours helping me research songs for future chapters and reining me back in when my mind wandered off unsupervised and I had trouble remembering this is supposed to be a one shot idea and not a hundred chapter story! Your tireless support makes me want to work harder and write something amazing for you._

_A very special shout out to **Raven12**. Hope you feel better sweetheart and are back in tip top condition soon. xx_

_Thank you all for every single one of my reviews. I cannot tell you what they mean to me. But when I say a whole heap, I'm not lying._

_So, onto chapter 5 and we are back to Beca and her mouthful of hot coffee ..._

* * *

**Playlist of The Heart  
****.o0o. Chapter Five - ****"Running Away" .o0o.**  
**by Jesse McCartney**

_**I need a break from it all**_  
_**Some space from it all for a minute**_  
_**I'm trying to make sense of it all**_  
_**This place is so unforgiving**_  
_**Wanting and waiting**_  
_**And somehow it's another winter**_  
_**Big plans and big dreams**_  
_**They're running out**_

_**'Cause I'm running away,**_  
_**Running away**_  
_**I gotta do it, make my escape from this world I've been living in**_  
_**Nothing's holding me down**_  
_**I'm leaving this town**_  
_**I gotta do it, deep down I know**_  
_**That as long as I stay true,**_  
_**It doesn't matter where I'm running to**_

**.o0o.**

_Starbucks Coffee Shop, West Hollywood._

Beca gulped down the burning hot coffee and tried to pull her feet out from underneath her in a desperate attempt to get out of the chair quickly. She needed out of the Starbucks immediately. She stood up from her comfortable chair in a rush and her purse dropped to the floor, the contents spilling everywhere.

"Fuck." She muttered loudly as she dropped latte all down her sweater. "Oh fuck it all."

Bending down, she set the drink down on the table and tried to collect all of the junk that had spilled out of her bag, hating herself for carrying around so much stuff. She cursed as she swept up her lip gloss, several digital devices, a small plastic bunny rabbit, several coins and more packets of chewing gum than in the local branch of Walmart. She was soon well aware of a pair of polished black boots approaching her from the counter end of Starbucks and she stood quickly, upsetting the small table and knocking her drink to the floor.

"Fuck!" She said again.

"You okay over there B?" Jim called out as he came from behind the counter. "Here, let me help."

Beca was close to tears as she kept her head down and jammed her iPod into her jeans pocket. Gathering up the last of her things, Jim approached the table with a couple of cloths in his hand and she clutched at his arm.

"Can I get out of the back door?" She stared up at him and he saw a strange look on her face.

"Um sure, you can go ahead. You okay Beca?"

"Yeah. Stall him?" Beca said with a flick towards the approaching tall man, dressed neatly in blue jeans and shirt, tie and jacket. "Crazy fan, you know?"

"Got it." Jim said and spun around quickly, blocking the darker end of his Starbucks. "Hey man, you wanna use the front door. We're cleaning back here."

Beca heard the raised voices of the two men talking as she burst through the door that lead to the toilets and the back exit. She knew that this route lead to a disused alleyway which took her down a discrete path out onto the corner of Surley and Morgan. She had used it before when her Starbucks safe haven had been ruined by a horde of screaming Justin Bieber fans. They had believed a prank radio caller when he had phoned in to say that Justin had started his community service for littering at the small coffee shop in West Hollywood and would be serving between eight and midday.

Beca brushed off the coffee stain, grateful that she was wearing black and pushed through a second door and turned right. Within a minute or two she was back on familiar ground and felt a sense of relief as she turned away from the main street and headed towards the park that was only a couple of blocks from her housing complex.

She heard a lot of car horns behind her, but pulled her scarf up high around her neck and walked quickly away. She was just about to cross the road when she was aware of a car approaching very slowly. She kept her head down and tucked into her shoulder as she waited to cross the road and became lost in her thoughts.

"Well, well, well ... if it isn't the one and only Beca Mitchell!"

Her head snapped back up again as the black Ford Thunderbird pulled up alongside her and a sliver of dread ran through her core.

"Please leave me alone." Beca replied, turning away to walk down the street.

"Wait, please! I just want to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you." Beca said over her shoulder.

"That may be true but can I at least buy you a cup of coffee? Make up for the one that was spilled."

"No, I have to get home." She said coldly.

"Five minutes. Max."

"I don't want to talk to you." Beca insisted, trying to remember if she still had her Barden issued rape whistle in her bag but then groaned as she realised she probably hadn't bothered picking up a lot of her spilled items in her haste to get away from the coffee shop.

"Well ... I can talk, you can listen!"

"I don't want any reminder of home. Please leave me alone." She begged, tiny tears working their way out of her eyes. She wiped them away and continued walking.

"He really did a number on you, didn't he?"

"What?" Beca stopped dead in her tracks and turned to glare at the driver before spinning on her heel and half jogging, half walking down the sidewalk.

"Beca, I _won't _tell him I saw you." He pleaded as he moved his car down the street after her. Beca stopped and looked back to see that the Thunderbird had followed her. The vehicle was in good condition and had been well cared for, despite its age. She expected nothing less. "One coffee ... then I am gone."

Beca quickly weighed up her options and decided that she really didn't want to reopen wounds. She now had a pounding headache, a dirty hangover, a rapidly spreading stain on her sweater and a nasty taste in her mouth. She wanted to get home for a stiff drink. She began to shake her head and the driver applied the brakes to the car and slipped it into neutral.

"Please Beca? Or should I call you Aria?"

Beca felt her head spin and her eyes flew up to meet his. He held her gaze for a second too long and she began to feel quite perplexed.

"How did you know that?"

"Mate, there's only one person that I know with the talent to produce the works like those of Aria. It's all over the musical circuit what a shining star _she _is. I had to come and find you for myself. To see ... if it was _you_. And I was right."

"Well, you found me. You can go now." Beca said, backing away from the edge of the road. She knew that she could cross the public garden and the Thunderbird wouldn't be able to follow if she was quick enough. She also knew he was watching her intently. She shook her head and made eyes towards the entrance of the park.

"Come on, one coffee. Thirty minutes. Look, for old times' sake. It's just me here. Please." He implored, sensing her wavering. "Look, would it help if I called you Becky?"

**.o0o.**

_Paulo's Bistro, Westwood_

"I can't quite believe I let you talk me into having lunch with you as well." Beca mused as she wiped her fingers on the heavy cloth napkin that had been laid on her lap by a penguin suited waiter.

"I know! It's been good to catch up though." Luke said, as he took a sip of the smooth red Merlot in his hand. "I thought I was pushing my luck with two coffees and a hot tea but this is ... this is nice. I thought you were going to run off and disappear again and I'd be for evermore wondering who I was going to steal luncheon from today. And this place is pretty sweet, mind you I am biased."

"Luncheon? Who even says that?"

"Well, me for a start." Luke answered with a sarcastic grin. "One is English, after all."

"Yeah, about that?"

"What?" Luke said as he set the glass back down on the table and reaching for the garlic butter to speak on warm bruschetta.

"How come you were in college in Atlanta?"

"Oh, well, my father was in the RAF, um, the Royal Air Force and we moved around a lot. He had a posting ... something to do with the government; nothing exciting like a spy though; he just didn't talk about it much. That would have been cool. But he was a regular Joe."

"His name is Joe?" Beca asked, half listening as she perused the menu. "I don't think I ever knew your full name either."

"No, he's not Joe. I am Lucas George Philip Bryant, son of Henry Francis Bryant, cordially known as Uther Pendragon from the Castle of Camelot and Helena Beyoncé Bry-"

"-Beyoncé?"

"I was just checking you were listening."

"Oh I listen. I just figured you Brits are all a little funky between the ears and name yourselves weird things like Luke Bryant of Windsorfordshire or whether it is you are from." Beca considered her words as she looked him directly in the eye and winked. Luke belly laughed and nearly choked on his bread. Beca grinned widely.

"Finally!" Luke said, wiping his mouth. "There's a smile I remember! And no, I don't hail from Windsorfordshire, just a city boy-"

"-Born and raised in South Detroit?" Beca mused but jumped a little as a loud peal of laughter rang out through the small bijou restaurant. She breathed heavily and resumed perusing the menu.

"So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?" Luke asked, resting his elbows on the table and interlinking his fingers. He could sense she was still nervous and was trying to get her to open up.

"Well, I was supposed to be in the studio this morning and my manager will be pissed as hell that I didn't show up. But I'll mash something when I get home and feign creative genius and say I got caught up with what I was doing. This afternoon, I promised I'd take Wi ... um, what are you going to order?" Beca asked as she looked up from her menu.

"Ladies first." Luke said, nodding at Beca. "I hope you like this place. My cousin and his wife opened it three years ago. It's doing pretty well."

"Oh cool." Beca said, trying to decide what to order. "It's a sweet gig, and only a couple of blocks from the studio so I could possibly put some business their way too."

"That's really nice of you. Look, this is on me, so choose whatever you like." Luke said, placing his menu on the crisp white linen tablecloth.

"Oh you don't have to do that." Beca said, feeling herself turn red. "I can pay-"

"-To make up for all the 'Becky's' in college?"

"Deal! I'm not sure what to order though; happy to take a recommendation." Beca said, snapping her menu shut.

"Did you miss it?"

"Um, what?" Beca said as she sipped on the water and wishing it were something stronger.

"College. Barden." Luke said as he nodded for the waiter on the other side of the room. "When you left, did you miss it? Us?"

"Sometimes." Beca said, tugging her scarf up a little higher around her neck. Luke watched her begin to close down in front of him.

"What happened to you Beca?"

"I'm not sure I can-"

"-Look, the rumours were rife and people missed you. They worried about you for days, searched high and low and evidentially your Dad told everyone you'd moved back home to New York with your Mum. That didn't stop people trying to find you."

"By people, do you mean Jesse?"

"Yes, yes I do."

"Hello folks, I'm Phil, what can I get you guys today?" A slightly built, blonde twenty something approached the table, hovering slightly so as not to disrupt the conversation.

Beca breathed a sigh of relief at the interruption and listened as Luke placed their order. She became lost in her world for a moment and it took a few seconds to realise Luke was talking to her.

"Earth to Beca?"

"Sorry Luke, I-"

"It's okay. Take your time." Luke said kindly. He lifted the water bottle and topped up Beca's glass. "I ordered you a couple of whiskeys."

"Why?"

"Unless I am very much mistaken Beca, that's your drink of choice."

"How did you know?"

"My grandfather was very partial to a generous single malt. I recognised the smell when you got in the car earlier."

"Oh." Beca said, her face flaming. "Didn't hide it too well then."

"Look, I'm not here to judge. My grandfather was a wanker when he was on the drink and we had to get help, like _proper_ help to wean him off it."

"I think I am beyond help." Beca sighed. "With everything."

"No one is beyond help. Just depends if you want it."

"I guess so." Beca said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Wow, where's the ear spike gone?" Luke asked, grinning as he cocked his head to one side and looked at her properly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was time for it to go! Got three new tat's instead though."

"Aces!" Luke mirthed. "But think on what I said, okay?"

"Yeah, I know."

"You just have to want the help."

"Okay." Beca said, beginning to shut down in front of Luke's eyes.

"Come on Beca, we used to be friends until that day you didn't show up for work. What happened mate?"

Beca sat back in the chair and watched as the waiter placed a double whiskey in front of her and asked her if she would like ice. She nodded and watched him fill her glass with cubes, the clinking sound like music to her ears.

"Thank you." She said to him quietly and her fingers surrounded the glass. Luke watched her intently before raising his own and tipping it towards her.

"Your health." He said suavely and watched as Beca took a healthy gulp of the drink. He raised an eyebrow as she drained the contents.

"Another?" He asked as he lifted his head for the waiter and signalled for two more.

"This doesn't bother you?" Beca murmured.

"No. If it's what you need right now so we can get the elephant out of the room, I'll turn a blind eye. It's nothing to do with me anyway but as your friend, I'd be happy to help you." Luke said simply. "How long have you been drinking?"

"Two years, seven months, three weeks and four days."

"That's, um, quite precise."

"Yeah." Beca said, not elaborating any further but feeling herself start to relax a little.

"So, I hear from the proverbial grape vine that you are a co-owner of Bulletproof. That's a sweet gig you got into. And changing your stage name was a good call. Keep the mystery. I almost didn't recognise you earlier today. It was only ... thank you." Luke said, interrupting his flow to thank the waiter as he placed two more drinks in front of them both. "It was only when you sat down and turned around that I got a good look at you."

"Yep, that pretty much is it. Changing my name was my Dad's idea. Thought it would help me disconnect from Atlanta and Jesse."

"Did it work?" Luke asked. Beca raised a finger and tapped it against the side of her whiskey glass. He paused for a moment before answering, understanding that the distance had done nothing to quell her demons. "I get it, okay. We all have a vice. Mine was ... is ... playing music. Yours is ... is-"

"-Bad for my liver?" Beca pondered.

"Are you getting any help or support?" Luke pressed on with his questioning.

"Nope." Beca said stressing the 'p' at the end and making it pop.

"Can I ask why?"

"Why are you so interested?" Beca said, getting uncomfortable with the conversation. It was true that she knew she needed some help, that her drinking heavily was getting out of control. Her work was beginning to suffer and her home life was shot to pieces.

"I always had a soft spot for you Beca. If the rumours are true, you were treated badly."

"I guess." Beca sighed. "My Dad moved out here six months after me. He helped me sort my shit out. We're doing okay now. I've got a few issues but I'll get there."

"I hope this will be the first of many conversations. I'd love to keep in touch."

"I'm not good at -"

"-I know but we all need a friend, right?" Luke asked gently and Beca nodded, blinking rapidly a few times to disperse the tears that were threatening.

"Did you hear what he did?" Beca asked after a lengthy pause.

"Yes, but did you hang around long enough to find out why?"

"No." Beca said, necking the second glass of whiskey. "I turned to drink so I could forget to ask why."

"Talk to me Beca. I might be able to help." Luke said, rubbing his hands together gently before sitting back slightly as the waiter brought their entrees out. "And I've got all the time in the world."

**.o0o.**

_Mitchell Beach House, Santa Monica._

"Thanks for dropping me off Luke." Beca said as she popped her seatbelt and helped guide it back into the holder. "I've had a really nice afternoon."

"Me too Beca. You've got my number."

"I do and I'll set up that meeting on Monday."

"That would be great. I really look forward to working with you Beca."

"See you Luke." Beca said as she pulled on the door handle to open the passenger side. She stopped, leaned over towards Luke and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Thank you."

"I still have a feeling you've kept something back. But I'll wait until you are ready."

Beca just smiled as she stepped out of the car. She ducked down and looked at him in the eye.

"Maybe next time? I think we've both said a lot today and I need to process it all."

"Remember what I said, okay? I will help you deal with this, if you want the support. Been there, done that, got the scars. And think on what I told you about Jesse. There are always two sides to every story. Take care Beca. Catch you next week."

Beca slammed the door to Luke's Ford Thunderbird and gave a half wave as she walked backwards up the small coastal path towards her Dad's house. Luke pulled away from the side of the road with a cheery double toot of his car horn, scaring a small flock of birds who had perched themselves on the rustic fencing surrounding Dr Mitchell's home.

Letting herself in through the back door, Beca called out her greeting as she stuffed her keys into her pocket. She looked over the immaculate kitchen, painted in cool colours to match the oceanic view outside as she set her purse down on one of the bar stools and took a moment to steady herself. She pulled out a piece of gum from her bag and stuffed it into her mouth.

"That you Bec?" Dr Mitchell called out from the study area.

"Yeah, Dad." Beca answered, stuffing her hands into her pocket and resting against the countertop.

"Everything okay?" He asked as he walked into the kitchen clutching a sheaf of papers in his hand and his glasses perched on the end of his nose. He placed the papers onto the worktop and opened his arm for a hug from his daughter. "We weren't expecting you until this evening."

"I bunked off work today." Beca said, enveloping her Dad in a tight hug.

"Not feeling well?"

"Ran into an old friend this morning before I even got there."

"Oh?" Dr Mitchell said, lifting himself up onto one of the bar stools at the kitchen counter. He watched Beca for a moment or two before hitching his sleeves up to his elbows and leaning forward slightly.

"Yeah. Someone from Barden."

"Right." Dr Mitchell frowned.

"Do you remember Luke?"

"Luke?"

"Yeah, I worked with him at the station." Beca said, reaching down to scratch behind her knee.

"Blonde British guy, right?"

"Yes, that's him."

"And?"

"He's been in town for a while, knew my stuff and I'm gonna catch up with him next week at the studio. We're gonna see if we can work on something, get him a bit ahead in the game." Beca explained, still scratching her knee. She looked up at her Dad to find him staring at her with a strange look on his face. "He's cool. He's all right."

"It's not him I worry about." Dr Mitchell said, resting his elbows on his knees and interlocking his fingers in front of him.

"Yeah Dad, about that ..."

"What's up?" Dr Mitchell said, stepping off the barstool and turning towards the kettle, flicking the switch up to turn it on.

"Do you want to tell me what happened on February twelfth three years ago?" Beca asked.

"Beca? I don't think-"

"-I'm not angry Dad." Beca interrupted. "I'm just not. I've moved on and he is no longer part of my life."

"That's not entirely true, is it?"

"No. It's not. But I've lived for three years thinking he didn't care or love me and if what Luke told me is true, then a lot of people went out of their way to try to tell me the truth and it would seem that you may have given him reason to think I wasn't interested."

"Beca, you and I need to sit down and have a proper talk."

"I'm here now."

"Sheila will be back with the children soon and-"

"-I guess you had better talk quick then."

"Tomorrow Bec. Tomorrow." Dr Mitchell sighed as the kettle began to sing. "We'll go for a walk up to Coopers Point and I'll tell you everything you need to know."

"Okay to stay tonight?"

"Of course. We've rented a couple of movies and I know Dan The Man wants to show you his skills on the drums." Dr Mitchell said, reaching into the cutlery drawer for a teaspoon. "Tea?"

"Yes please." Beca nodded. "Little dude is getting good?"

"Well, you say good ... think more of 'not as painful as it once was'."

Beca laughed and her Dad grinned back at her as he reached for two mugs from the draining board. He slipped two tea bags from a large ceramic barrel into the comical cups and filled them with the hot water from the kettle. He stirred them a couple of times before leaving them to steep.

"What's on the-"

"We're home!" The dulcet tones of the former 'Step-Monster' Sheila rang out as the sound of little feet echoed through the downstairs. "Bob?"

"Kitchen!" Dr Mitchell called back.

"Daddy!" Danny yelled as he ran into the kitchen towards his father. He stopped short when he saw Beca sitting in the kitchen and barrelled towards her instead. "Beca!"

"How are you going buddy?" She asked as he ran into her arms and she gathered him up and planted a couple of kisses on his soft brown hair and pulled him close to her. "Have you had a good day?!"

"Yep. Me and Willow, we buyed you something."

"It's 'bought' hunny." Sheila said as she set down her shopping basket on the kitchen counter. She walked around Beca, placing a loving hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. "Beca, are you sleeping properly? You look very tired dear."

"I'm good." Beca said, looking around her as Sheila reached up to kiss Bob on the cheek. "Um, where's Willow?"

"She's still asleep in the car. They spent an hour at the jungle gym so she is quite tired." Sheila smiled over at Beca. "Car's unlocked still. I was just going back for her."

"I'll get her." Beca said as she slid off the bar stool and watched as Danny animatedly told his father about his adventurous morning. Beca left them to it as she headed towards the front door which had been left ajar. The mid afternoon sun was streaming through the windows of the lounge on her left as she stepped out and hopped down the steps to Sheila's 4 x 4. She approached the back door and took a moment to look at the little girl inside who was still strapped in her car seat. As always, Beca got a little flutter when she looked at her.

As she popped open the door, the noise woke the little girl who looked startled until she cast her big brown eyes at Beca. She blinked a couple of times because giving a half grin and a roll of her eyes as she stirred from her afternoon nap.

"Well, good afternoon little bug." Beca said, as she ducked under the door frame and clicked on Willow's seat straps. Willow fed her arms through the straps and reached up to pull Beca towards her, holding on tightly around her neck. "Oh, did you miss me?!"

The little girl nodded a couple of times and let out an almighty yawn as she blinked a few more times. Planting a kiss on sweet, chubby cheeks, Beca scooped the little girl up and out from her car seat and picked up the little butterfly blanket that had fallen into the foot well. Beca lifted her onto her hip and settled her as Willow held on tight. Beca kicked the car door shut and headed back towards the house.

"Have you had a good day?" Beca asked her as they headed towards the front door, snuggling the child close to her and breathing in the scent that kept her grounded.

"Play wiv Dan Dan." Willow said as they walked through the entrance to the house.

"I heard!" Beca asked as she pushed the door closed behind her. She looked into the eyes of the little girl who she loved more than life itself, staring into pools of warm brown that were so familiar and so soulful that it hurt to look for too long. Willow brushed some hair from her face and curved her lips into a cheeky grin as she tilted her head to one side, the perfect replica of her father. "Were you a good girl for Grandma and Granddad last night?"

The little girl nodded and squeezed Beca tightly and nuzzled into her neck.

"Yes mama."

* * *

_A/N - Hope you enjoyed dear readers x_


	6. Ramblings of an Author

**Playlist Of The Heart  
****.o0o. ****Intermission! .o0o.  
And A Note From The Author**

* * *

**.o0o.**

_Dear Readers_

_I've been away from writing for a while. After a pretty busy and emotional year (mother in law passing away, my own (continued) illness, a house move and the general stresses of life and family issues), I'm now in a place where I can get back to writing on a more regular basis ... i.e. updating more than once a month!_

_I am under no illusions whatsoever that I have an army of people sitting there waiting for me to finish this story but if you do and want an end to this little tale, please drop me a PM, find me on Twitter (my usernames are the same and I have a bright yellow button for an avatar which matches my button here) or a leave a comment in the review box and let me know. I love hearing from you guys, even if it's a negative review as it shows you care enough to tell me!_

_All of my stories are mapped out from the very beginning and all of them have a definite ending already written. I always write the last chapter first and then start at the beginning. Each chapter is planned and ready to be written. I guess I just need you guys to give me a virtual kick up the backside!_

_waatp xx_

* * *

**.o0o.**


	7. Small Bump

_A/N – Wow, only a year late with this update. Not sure whether to be impressed or disappointed with myself right now! I knew I wasn't going to get this fiction out in time for the challenge set by our very own CajunQueen714 waaaaay back in 2015 as I was too busy nosing around in other peoples FanFictions at the time. However, I've got (what I think) is a nice little ending to this story so I thought I'd pick it up again and see how it developed with the added benefit of a year's snark under my belt.  
_

_Thanks to my dear friend, CQ14 for giving this drabble a beta for me. It is, as always, appreciated. Love you big much xx_

* * *

**Playlist Of The Heart  
****.o0o. Chapter Seven - ****Small Bump .o0o.  
by Ed Sheeran**

**_You're just a small bump unborn, in four months you're brought to life  
You might be left with my hair, but you'll have your mother's eyes  
I'll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as I can  
But for now you're scan of my unmade plans  
A small bump in four months you're brought to life  
A small bump in four months you'll open your eyes_**

**_I'll whisper quietly, I'll give you nothing but truth  
I'll hold you tightly, I'll give you nothing but truth  
If you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you  
You are my one and only  
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight  
Oh, you are my one and only  
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight  
And you'll be alright._**

**.o0o.**

"You ready Beca?" Bob Mitchell called from the front door, early on Sunday morning.

"Almost." Beca yelled back from the lounge area. "I'm just trying to wrestle the Bug into some clothes."

"I'll do that if you like dear." Sheila said as she set her sewing basket down to the side. "Willow behaves for me. You run along with your father."

Beca gritted her teeth a little at Sheila's words as she stood up from her position on the living room floor. She had spent the last twenty minutes trying to persuade Willow into something that didn't look like she had picked it up off of the floor after a three day beer festival weekend. She did at least try to make Willow look respectable.

"Thanks Sheila. Willow, be a good girl for your Grandma." Beca said, leaning down to smooth the little girls wild curls but giving up after a few seconds, knowing she'd come home to a coiffed look and bows on your young daughter. She turned to Sheila but decided not to say anything, grateful for her help. "See you later."

"Don't forget your coat dear." Sheila called out as Beca left the room. Beca rolled her eyes but headed over to the pool house to collect a lightweight jacket. Her relationship with Sheila had mellowed somewhat in recent years but Beca was still convinced Sheila didn't see Beca as an adult, despite Beca having a daughter of her own.

Still, Beca didn't want to complain too much. It was Sheila who had saved her ass after all.

Beca and Willow had stayed over in the pool house of the Santa Monica coastline home, which offered stunning views over the ocean and a quiet location despite the tourist aspect of the beach being within spitting distance from the white picket fence that ran around the property, for several months. Beca had lived with her Dad and Sheila after she spent a few months unsuccessfully looking for decently paid work and a nice place to live. Her daughter had been three months old when she moved in and despite everything Beca had said in the beginning about wanting to make it on her own, she was grateful for the help and support she received from her parents.

Willow was born two weeks early and arrived without drama at Cedars Sinai Hospital, eight and a half months after Beca had performed with her former a capella group at Barden University, winning the coveted ICCA finals with style and aplomb. She had chosen not to know the sex of the baby but was secretly delighted that her baby was a little girl, having thought a boy would remind her too much of the man she had left behind. As Willow features developed and her eyes turned dark brown, it didn't take Beca long to recognise her father's influence in her genes; the gentle, easy going and calm way she seemed to be. She had a cheeky smile and her serious face was still adorable. She rarely cried, fed easily and didn't fuss even in the early days when Beca sheltered in the Starbucks and where had she met Jim.

Beca cherished her.

Having a baby at a young age was never on Beca's list of things to do. Sure, she wanted kids, but 'someday', not, after doing the math in her head, three weeks after she turned twenty. Not keeping her child was something Beca never considered and she'd cried hard as she told her Dad. Confused by his reaction, she'd been expecting the third degree, a lot of shouting and tears and to his credit, but instead, Dr Mitchell had sat quietly for less than a few moments then simply asked Beca what she needed to be able to complete this next stage of her life.

Beca, confused at how life had thrown her such a curve ball had said she was going to tell Jesse, the father of her baby as soon as she finished her next shift at the radio station that night. Bob Mitchell had questioned his intentions, annoyed with the teenager he knew his daughter had only been dating for a few months and whom had put his only daughter into such a predicament. Beca had gotten mad, her feelings hurt, her hormones ablaze and had left her father's house to go to work in a quiet mood. After cutting short a conversation with Luke, she's gone to Chloe's apartment to work on a new dance set and hoped to ask for her opinion on what to go next, before she went to find Jesse. She'd not seen him for a day or so and needed his soft, kind words telling her it was going to be okay.

And that's when it had all gone horribly wrong.

Not because he'd rejected her or the baby, she never got to tell him the news as she had come to Chloe's apartment to find him there in a compromising situation with someone else; someone she had trusted and thought as one of her closest friends.

Chloe.

She had turned her back on Jesse, without him ever seeing her turn up unannounced at Chloe's apartment. She went back to her studio, the one she shared with Amy, packed up her belongings and everything she owned and left Barden that night without a word to anyone and no goodbye letter. With just enough money to get her across the country, she decided to get as far away from Atlanta as she could.

She went without a lot of medical care throughout her pregnancy, there was no coo'ing over ultrasound pictures, no parental classes to attend and no one to rub her swollen ankles. She lay in her bed in the hostel or cheap motel room, rubbing slow circles on her belly and eating as well as she could. She took what work she could find; waiting on tables, housekeeping in hotels and walking dogs. She cried a lot, wanting the clean break from Barden but realising that she was always going to have a little part of the man she loved with her until it was time to leave the Earth. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

It wasn't easy in the beginning, especially with Willow looking so much like her daddy and as time went by and the ghosts of the past came back to haunt Beca a little, she found herself turning to drink to numb her feelings. As the feeling of responsibility dawned on her, she began to feel the strain of being a single parent to a beautiful little girl. While Beca loved Willow more than anything in the world, she felt the tiniest pang of regret and anger that she was doing it all by herself.

Almost three years later, Beca just got on with day to day living, desperately trying to give her daughter the upbringing she deserved whilst building a career to make Willow proud of her. And Willow adored her mama, loving nothing more than to curl up beside her on their overstuffed couch and watch cartoons or lay snuggled into her side in the bed they shared, covered in pretty butterfly sheets as it they were Willow's favourite thing in the world. Beca had adopted butterflies as her theme and subtly introduced them into her wardrobe and had them tattooed onto her skin.

Beca talked to Willow from day one, telling her how she had come to be and how much she was loved. While pregnant with her, Beca had played her small, neat bump all kinds of music. When the little girl couldn't sleep, was unwell with colic or teething, Beca would play her familiar tunes and she would rest, relax and let sleep evade her. Beca would tell her daughter stories of her life in New York and Atlanta and why she wanted to leave to begin a new chapter where she was unknown and far away from the man who had broken her heart.

When Willow was nine months old, Beca had been stopped in the street by a casting agent who had offered her some baby modelling and commercial work for her daughter. Needing the money and under advisement from her own father, Beca had agreed as long as Willow was happy and content to do it. She had arranged with the agency that as soon as Willow began to dislike the attention, she would be pulled from the campaign and would only be used in advertising that was to be shown on the west coast or overseas, never anything on the east side of the country. While a strange request, the agency, Bay Bees, had complied although Willow received a lower fee for her work for the inconvenience.

Willow had loved doing it and proved a natural in front of the camera, baffling a few members of the agency who had only ever met her shy, closed up and quiet mother before. Beca requested that Willow be referred to as Avery Rose, citing and explaining her own fiercely protected private life and the agency respected her wishes.

Every cent that Willow earned was spent on her; new clothes, shoes and toys. Whatever was leftover was placed into a fund, ready for college. At the time, Beca had been on a limited income, determined not to be a statistic of her generation and live on benefits, wanting to work hard for her future plans on her own terms. She didn't want to take Willow's money, wanting the child to have the college education that she never got to finish.

Beca worked long hours but she enjoyed it. She began to feel free of her past while concentrating on her present. She could almost forget about the connection she had with Jesse until she looked at pictures of her beautiful daughter and saw such familiarity. The drink helped her move past all of that.

"You ready?" Bob Mitchell asked, placing his hand on Beca's shoulder, shaking her out of her trip down Memory Lane.

"Yep. Sure." Beca said, standing up and following her Dad out of the front door. Pulling it closed behind them, she turned her face up towards the sun, drinking in the rays.

"Coopers Point?"

"That's what you said yesterday." Beca said, pulling on the thin cardigan she'd brought with her. She was grateful for the small stash of clothes she kept at the beach house and was pleased she'd left her walking boots there from the last time.

Bob and Beca walked along in silence for an hour. While the elder was a lover of words, liked to talk, to discuss financial and political matters, to chat about television shows, music and food, he also knew his daughter well and understood that she needed time to think and to process quietly. He'd been dreading having this conversation with her for many months, wishing he'd said something in the beginning.

They reached Coopers Point just as the sun disappeared from view behind an ominous looking black cloud. Confused on where the dirty weather had come from, Beca walked ahead of her father towards their favourite spot, a clearing in and amongst a small group of trees. After Bob, Sheila and Danny had moved to Santa Monica, Beca came to visit Danny with the baby, trying to explain to the little boy that he was now an Uncle, news that went completely over his head but he cuddled the baby and placed soft kisses on her head as if she was the most precious thing in his little world.

While Willow napped after her playtime and lunch, Sheila had suggested that Bob take Beca out for a walk and picnic, hoping the fresh air would help replace the gaunt look that Beca was wearing. After leaving more instructions than necessary with Sheila, Beca had agreed but continued to send text messages every three minutes until Bob took her phone from her.

They'd come across Coopers Point.

They'd found the clearing quite easily; the large boulder being a favourite place to walk to and a feature in many a guide book. Just behind the rock was a dip which lead down to a short, stony passageway through the trees and prickly bushes. It lead to an overlook which, if the weather was good, allowed the walker an unobstructed view for miles. Bob had encouraged Beca to talk to him, to open up and to let him back in. He praised her for her dedication to his granddaughter, how well she was thriving under difficult circumstances and he also expressed his regret for their conversation so many months before when he had berated Jesse.

Beca melted into her father's arms, needing his comfort, support and most importantly his love. She opened up to him about her work, how tired she was, despite Willow being a perfect baby and how guilty she felt for bringing her into a world where she wouldn't know her father.

"She may not have a father figure, but she'll have her grandfather." Bob had insisted. "I know it's not as good, but I'll be there for her. You have my word. I messed up with you and I won't do it with her."

That was all Beca had needed to hear and it cemented that small nook at Coopers Point as a place where they could talk, where the gentle breeze that brushed past the flinty rock face would carry their secrets away and the sun would give them warmth and strength in their growing relationship.

"So, kiddo ..." Bob said, taking a seat and dangling his legs over the edge of the pathway that jutted out a couple of hundred metres above the camping site below. "... what do you want to know?"

"The truth."

"About Jesse?"

"About Jesse." Beca confirmed.

"Okay. I knew this day would come eventually." Bob sighed, pulling out his water bottle from his jacket pocket. "And when I'm done, you and I are going to have a little chat about the secret that you have been carrying around in your heart."

"What Dad?" Beca said, immediately on the defensive. She had come up to Coopers Point to hear her Dad's side of the story about what happened, in the conversation he had had with her boyfriend, not to discuss her personal life.

"Lately, there's a reason I call you my little Fireball and I'd like to discuss that with you."

"You first." Beca insisted.

"Okay." Bob sighed. "Here goes."

**.o0o.**

* * *

_A/N - Next chapter is gonna spill what happened that night. I doubt very much anyone is on tenterhooks right now but still ..._**  
**


	8. Rude

_A/N - I'm picking up on my old stories again as I promised myself I'd get them finished in 2017. I've got a load more new stories that I'd like to share with you all but really want to tie up all the lose threads (on my older stories) that I've left hanging over the past couple of years first! It's hard to pick up a story where you've not looked at it for nearly a year but thankfully, I've left myself plenty of notes! Thank you for bearing with me and I wish you all a very and healthy 2017 xx_

_A special thanks to CajunQueen714 for the super quick beta so I could get this posted. You never let me down girl x_

_This chapter is for Annakendrickforlife for the kick up the bum to post something on this story! :)  
_

* * *

**Playlist of The Heart  
****.o0o. Chapter Eight - Rude .o0o.****  
by Magic**

_**Saturday morning jumped out of bed  
And put on my best suit  
Got in my car and raced like a jet  
All the way to you  
Knocked on your door with heart in my hand  
To ask you a question  
'Cause I know that you're an old-fashioned man, yeah**_

_**Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?  
Say yes, say yes 'cause I need to know  
You say I'll never get your blessing 'til the day I die  
Tough luck, my friend, but the answer is 'No'**_

_**Why you gotta be so rude?  
Don't you know I'm human too?  
Why you gotta be so rude?  
I'm gonna marry her anyway**_

_**Marry that girl  
Marry her anyway  
Marry that girl  
Yeah, no matter what you say  
Marry that girl  
And we'll be a family  
Why you gotta be so  
Rude**_

**.o0o.**

Sunday morning arrived without too much of the unknown for Jesse. Well, nothing that he wasn't used to.

Jesse lay in bed, watching Chloe gently breathe in and out as she slept on her side. Her long, red hair was splayed out across the pillows that lingered with her scent of vanilla and strawberries when she wasn't there. She faced him as she slept; her mouth slightly parted as she ran through her dreams. This was the time he knew it was safe for him to love her.

He raised himself up on one elbow and reached over to slowly tuck a curl behind her ear, doing all he could not to disturb her. He hated that she was so angry and aggressive all of the time. It wasn't supposed to be that way. This wasn't really her. It wasn't the Chloe that he knew.

The spectacle of the night before was long forgotten as she dreamt, her face relaxed and youthful as the heavy doses of sleeping pill concoction still coursed through her veins. She was still and quiet now but he knew that when she woke, the rages would begin again when she realised that overnight he had had to restrain her and call for the doctor. The bitter wrath she was inflicting on him disturbed the other tenants in their building and her screams of fury rang out throughout the neighbourhood.

And the day before had begun so well.

After a quiet afternoon watching television together on Jesse's sofa, their legs entwined and fingers dancing over each others' bare skin, Jesse had cooked for Chloe as she had set up the small dining table, fanning out the napkins and lighting the candles to make it look nice; just like their first few nervous attempts at progressing from the friend zone to actual dating had been.

They had played music as they ate, laughed and joked about infomercials of all things and Jesse had wiped a spot of sauce from Chloe's chin. Everything had seemed calm and serene. Jesse had ran her a bubble bath, frothing up the water to create voluminous piles of foam and stood with a cloth to wash her back as she sank into the heavenly scented hot water. He'd stayed on the floor of the bathroom and chatted with her as she soaked her troubles away.

It was way past midnight when they were laying back on the sofa and Chloe was wrapped up in one of Jesse's tee shirts and pyjama bottoms. She'd been quiet for a while and Jesse could feel her resting heart beat was slow and patient. He let himself relax a little as he internally congratulated himself on making it through a day relatively unscathed.

To the outside world, Jesse Swanson and Chloe Beale appeared to be a cute couple.

He held down a decent enough job and made just about enough money to make it all work for himself. His tiny town house was basic but it was home and comfortable and he shared it with six potted plants, a colourful rug and a couple of hanging pictures. He liked the Spartan look but his mother had different ideas; she'd visit with cushions and throws for the sofa, new bedding and curtains and a shelving unit to display artwork, pictures and books. He didn't like to tell his mom that the reason why he didn't bother with those types of things was that Chloe would break everything he owned when she was in a fit of rage.

His favourite spot was in his bucket armchair by the open fireplace. He kept his best headphones there and when he knew he could get away with it, he played all the a cappella music from his college days and lost himself in the music flash drives full of tunes that he had stolen from his first love. Beca had been a good friend of Chloe's and while that name still sent a shiver down his spine and an immediate ache in his heart, he felt compelled to push away those thoughts and concentrate on his actress slash singer girlfriend.

His girlfriend, Chloe, was still the enthusiastic ginger that he had known since he first set foot on campus at Barden University. Chloe wasn't all bad. True, she had made some horrendous personal decisions in her life and fallen in with the wrong sort of people but when she set her focus on something; she achieved anything she wanted to. Jesse liked her drive and determination.

When she was in a good place, life was easy. They cooked together, they made love, they danced and they laughed. But underneath it all, Jesse was always waiting for the telltale twitch in her right eye that signalled Chloe, the fun loving, happy go lucky, carefree girl was about to be replaced with the other Chloe, the one who drank, took drugs, partied way too hard and got into more trouble than anyone should.

Her reputation was in tatters and while she was still offered film and television parts as she displayed a talent recognised in Hollywood, it hadn't been the leading roles she'd always chased after.

Answering a casting call for a small to medium part in a highly anticipated Hollywood blockbuster while in her last year at Barden, she received word that the director wanted to give her an opportunity to come in and read for the lead female role despite having no previous acting experience.

Chloe flew out west two days later, taking her friends Aubrey, Beca and Amy along with her for a long weekend. They had all bunked together in a small, slightly seedy hotel room and Aubrey had spent most of the weekend trying to control Amy because it was her first trip to California and she was going a little wild to say the least. For the most part Aubrey was successful until Amy managed to escape on the third night and hitch a ride to Santa Monica where she ended up being arrested for indecent exposure after going skinny dipping in the Pacific Ocean.

The rest of the time, they had spent hanging out in the tourist spots sending group pictures back to their friends. Beca had persuaded them all to try to get into a couple of the clubs with her and they had successfully managed to talk their way into one as Aubrey and Chloe were over the age of twenty one. Beca had been in her element at the cacophony of sounds as they danced late into the night and again, Aubrey had needed to exert a little forceful control on Amy and persuaded her that the club didn't need a replay of her busting out of her shirt like she had done at Regionals.

Upon returning to Barden, Amy having been let off with a warning from her nudist episode, there were a few shocked faces when Chloe announced she had gotten the part and would be leaving college in a little under two weeks. Everyone had turned to Beca and she had shrugged her shoulders. She had also believed that she would have been the first Bella to have upped and left Atlanta and part of her ached to get back to Los Angeles as she had felt quite at home there.

Within three weeks Chloe was back. While the role would have been perfect for her, the director felt there was no chemistry between her and the male lead, another up and coming actor from San Francisco. He sent her home, back to Barden, while he tried to source replacements. Chloe had called him several times a day and badgered the director to give her one more chance. He agreed that she could read again but she needed to up her game.

And that's where it had all gone wrong.

Jesse sighed as Chloe grunted in her sleep. He hated that she was so screwed up. He loved her dearly, but she wasn't the one he thought about constantly. Chloe wasn't the girl he intended to spend the rest of his life with. He hated that he felt like that and he knew it was guilt that kept him for leaving Chloe. He knew she'd kill herself without him, intentionally or not, and he couldn't cope with that notion.

Slipping out of bed, he slowly walked to the bathroom, checking his arms for scratches and bruises. He couldn't believe the evening had ended as it did. They had gone to bed and Chloe had brought up the idea of them having a baby together as they began to kiss and cuddle under the blanket. Jesse had said they would talk about it in the morning, fully intending that they would never go down that road.

She couldn't cope with life, she was an addict and there was no way he'd put a child through that. Chloe had gone wild, trashed the apartment for the third time that month and attacked Jesse, ripping his tee shirt from him before beating him with her fists. He'd held her wrists until she calmed down but as soon as he suggested they go out for fresh air, despite it being the middle of the night, she'd started up again, yelling that he was going to take her somewhere and leave her.

As Jesse looked into the bathroom mirror, saw the half moon fingernail indents on his left cheek, he knew he'd had enough. He was going to get her some help and then he was going to leave. He'd never left anyone before, although he'd been the one who had been deserted and he still didn't know why. Not really.

**.o0o.**

***Three years and four months previously***

"Beca, will you marry me?"

"Too blunt."

"Rebeca, will you please do me the honour of marrying me and becoming my wife?"

"Too formal."

"Becs, you wanna get hitched?"

"Too jokey."

"Beca, marry me as I can't live without your sweet as-"

"-Too crass."

"Well, I don't know what to say?"

"If you don't know what to say to the girl you love, are you sure you are doing the right thing?"

"Yes, Chloe!" Jesse said to Beca's best friend. "I love my girl and I know it's early but I want her in my life forever. She makes me feel like I'm the most important person in the world. I never stop thinking about her. She's my world. My life. My love."

"Well, Jesse, why the hell don't you just say that?"

"Because it sounds dumb."

The two friends were sitting in a small coffee shop, by the radio station where Beca still worked four nights a week. Jesse had asked Chloe to meet up to talk. She agreed but hadn't quite been expecting the conversation to start off the way it had as soon as they arrived. She knew Beca was quite smitten with him but wasn't sure she felt as strongly as he did.

"Okay, so you talked to her folks about this?" Chloe asked.

"No." Jesse replied, shaking his head. "Why?"

"Jesse, you are both nineteen years old. You've known each other a year. Do you not think running it past her dad would be a good thing?"

"Not really."

"Also, you don't think asking his permission for his daughter's hand in marriage is kinda cool?"

"I guess. It's a bit old fashioned though, isn't it? You think Beca would like that?"

"No, I think Beca would like a few dates first, some time to get to know you before you throw this at her. Just being honest here!" Chloe said, winking at Jesse and squeezing his arm to let him know she was on his side, despite taking the role of Devil's Advocate.

"I know, I know but I need her in my life."

"Word of advice?"

"Sure."

"You go at her like that, she'll freak out. Give it some time. Plan to propose in a couple of years but remember Beca has only just started to open up. She's not going to scream with joy when you pop the question, she's most likely going to freak out and run away."

"That's why I want her to wear my ring. I'll tell her that we can wait to get married until she's ready and settled. She'll always know that I love her this way."

"Well, I think you are crazy but good luck. And think on what I said about speaking to her Dad. I think it would go a long way."

"I will. Hey, thanks for all of this Chloe. You've helped me a lot."

"You're welcome. She's my best friend and I want to see her happy more than anything in life. I love her to bits."

"If I ever can do anything to return the favour, let me know."

"Well, actually, there is. Can you meet me in the Quad around midday tomorrow?"

"Sure, tomorrow's Saturday so that works for me. What do you want me to do?"

"I'll explain later!"

**.o0o.**

Jesse thought long and hard over what Chloe said. Her words had made sense but he also wanted to let Beca know he meant business. He'd chased her for a year, put up with her keeping him at arm's length and making him work for her affections but now was the chance to show her that he had been worth it. The night they spent together had meant everything to him and he didn't like the thought of anyone else touching her. He wanted her to be his forever. He knew the night in the hotel room had meant just as much to Beca, she'd changed over the past month, seeming to be accepting of his arm around her shoulders or interlinking their fingers as he tried to introduce her to his movie collection.

He was excited about the future.

So excited, in fact, that he hardly slept on that fateful Friday night, making his mind up he was going to propose to Beca the next day. He texted her to say goodnight before he'd gone to bed.

Message to Beca - 23.15: Night night. I love u xx  
Message to Beca - 23.18: I'm wearing a dinosaur tee shirt. Wut bout u? xx  
Message to Jesse - 23.24: Dude u're so weird.  
Message to Beca - 23.25: Yeah, yeah but u didn't ansa the q xx  
Message to Jesse - 23.38: Jeans, hoodie, boots  
Message to Beca - 23.39: Be still my beatin heart xx  
Message to Jesse - 23.47: U're still weird.  
Message to Beca - 23.48: Whatcha doin? xx  
Message to Jesse - 23.51: Um, working  
Message to Beca - 23.52: Oh. Sorry, forgot. Text when u're home. xx  
Message to Jesse - 00.01: Walking out with Luke now. Chat tomo.

Waking up early on Saturday morning, Jesse had jumped out of bed, collected his wash bag and the towel from the back of his bedroom door and heading to the bathroom to shower. Shampooing his hair twice, he made sure he shaved properly, even stole some of Benji's face moisturiser and spent quite a lot of time getting his hair perfect. He didn't care that he was hogging the bathroom and the incessant banging on the door was from someone's desperation to get in. He had a job to do and he was going to get ready to do it.

Heading back to his room, wrapped simply in a towel, he ignored the grumbles that he'd been in the bathroom for over an hour. Grinning to himself, he pulled out a clean pair of jeans and a polo shirt to wear before seeing his suit hanging at the back of the closet.

Jesse decided that would be a great first impression and pulled on his dress trousers and crisp white shirt, tucking the tails in before adjusting his belt. He dug around at the bottom of the suit bag and found a couple of ties and held them up to decide which one to wear. He wanted to wear the comedic Stormtrooper one but felt for a formal occasion, he should go with the sensible striped tie he'd worn to his nephew's christening the year before.

Knotting the tie, he remembered to tuck the thin end into the holder at the back before reaching for his suit jacket and slipping it round his shoulder. Adjusting his cuffs, he looked at himself in the mirror before straightening his tie and squaring his collar. Pleased with the look, he dug around in his wash kit for some aftershave and slashed a little on.

Pulling his door shut behind him, he made his way out into the sunshine feeling calm and happy. Pulling his car key from his pocket, he walked as quickly as he could to the parking lot without breaking a sweat. Jesse turned up the air conditioner as soon as he started the car so as not to arrive in a sweaty mess when he got to his destination. Pulling his handwritten directions from inside his suit jacket, he began his journey to Dr Mitchell's house, practising what he was going to say the whole way there.

Arriving a few minutes later, he smoothed his hair down before he got out of the car and taking a deep breath, he walked with purpose up the pathway to the front door knocking loudly but politely.

"Hello sir." Jesse said as the door was pulled open.

"Jesse?" Dr Mitchell said, looking past the young man standing on his doorstep. "Oh, is Beca not with you?"

"No sir."

"Is she okay?" Dr Mitchell asked, his voice suddenly full of concern.

"Yes, she is fine. I wanted to talk to you without her around."

"Oh. Um, yes, well, come in then."

"Thank you sir."

Dr Mitchell stood aside from the door to allow Jesse to enter. He turned and closed the door behind him before gesturing the way towards the kitchen. The elder man indicated one of the stools for Jesse to take a seat upon.

"My wife ..." He began to explain. "... is on a conference call and I am usually banished to the kitchen to keep the noise down."

"I see sir. Well, it is a lovely kitchen."

"Can I get you a drink? Coffee? Soda?"

"Um, Dr Pepper if you have any please?"

"We do indeed. Beca drinks the stuff so we usually keep some in for her." Dr Mitchell said, disappearing behind a wall and pulling open a cupboard door. He popped his head back around. "Ice?"

"Thank you." Jesse said politely.

Armed with a Dr Pepper, Jesse felt himself relax a little and watched as Beca's father busied himself getting a mug of coffee. Taking the seat next to Jesse, he began the conversation which was to change the course of both of their lives.

"So young man, what brings you to my house early on a Saturday morning."

"Well sir, I have a bit of a problem."

"Have you spoken to your professors and asked them for guidance? Maybe-"

"-Oh, sir, sorry, no ... this isn't to do with college work."

"Then what is it?"

"I'm in love with your daughter." Jesse half announced, half gushed. He watched as Dr Mitchell's mouth twitched amusedly.

"I see."

"She's perfect. Just so perfect. I love everything about her. She's intelligent, hardworking, unbelievably talented, honest, trustworthy, spirited and a whole host of adjectives I won't bore you with. I've never met anyone quite like her."

"She is unique, I agree."

"Unique is an understatement, sir. The room is brighter when she walks in. Food tastes better when it is shared with her. I see more clearly when I'm around her. I work better and harder so that she'll be proud of me. Her opinion is the one I care about now and I'll do anything I can to make her understand-"

"-Jesse, what's this about?" Dr Mitchell interrupted.

"Well ..." Jesse gulped. "... we've been seeing each other a little while now and I want to make it a permanent thing."

"Okay ... but you know that you don't need my permission to date my daughter. Firstly, you know how strong willed she is and you know that she can make her own mind. Secondly-"

"-Um, there's a little more to it."

Dr Mitchell picked up his cup of coffee and took a sip. He nodded to Jesse as he set the mug back down.

"I'm listening."

"I really do love Beca and I want to marry her." Jesse said, puffing out his chest with pride that he managed to get the whole statement out without faltering.

"I'm sorry! What did you just say?" Dr Mitchell stifled a laugh.

"Dr Mitchell. My feelings are real. I want to marry Beca."

"How old are you son?"

"I'm nineteen." Jesse replied.

"Repeat that for me?"

"I'm nineteen."

"And you think you can marry my daughter when you aren't even in your twenties yet?" Dr Mitchell said, running his finger around the rim of his coffee mug.

"Obviously, we'd wait until after college before getting married and-" Jesse began.

"-Jesse, marriage is quite the commitment. It's something not to be taken lightly. Beca's Mom and I ... well, we just didn't work out because we jumped into marriage before we were ready. My daughter was the only good thing to come out of it and I have no regrets over her at all. I do regret rushing into a big white wedding when it was clear we were too young. If you truly love my daughter, you will wait." Dr Mitchell said, desperately trying to impart his experience on the teenager sat in front of him.

"Sir, I don't want to wait. I think it is a beautiful commitment to make to her and I want her to know my feelings."

"Trying to put a ring on Beca's finger would be like trying to keep a bullet in a gun after it has been fired. Impossible."

"Sir, please can I have your daughter for the rest of my life." Jesse said, ignoring the advice from the man who knew Beca the best. "My heart is in my hands right now and I am being honest with you. I need her by my side. Please give me, us, your blessing."

"No, you do not have my blessing."

"Dr Mitchell, I realise you think we are too young but-"

"-You asked for my blessing You do not have it."

"Why do you have to be so rude?"

"I am not being rude Jesse. I am simply trying to stop you from losing Beca forever. Buy her a necklace, tell her you love her but don't frighten her with this foolish notion of marriage. Have you really thought this all through? Where will you live? How will you support yourselves?"

"We'll both get jobs."

"College? Beca's aspirations of Los Angeles?"

"I'll help Beca pursue her dreams. Whatever she wants."

"My answer is still no."

"But-"

"-No."

"I'm going to marry her anyway." Jesse said, defiantly.

"You are a fool."

"That I may be sir, but I'll be a happy one."

"I think it is best if you leave my house now. I will not be telling Beca of this conversation and I think it would be wise for you to have a long think about this before you do something you would regret."

Jesse stood up and held out his hand to Beca's father. Dr Mitchell nodded to him but didn't say another word as he shook the reluctantly held out hand.

**.o0o.**

"Safe to say that it didn't go as planned then?" Chloe asked as she saw the look on Jesse's face as he entered the quad around lunchtime that day.

"Yeah, you could say that." Jesse said with an aggravated huff as he took a knee next to Chloe. He'd changed out of his best suit and into his favourite jeans and jersey. "Dude was all up in my business about life, love and marriage."

"No blessing?"

"No." Jesse said angrily.

"Are you really surprised?" Chloe asked, trying her best to calm her best friend's boyfriend down.

"I guess not." Jesse sighed. "I just love her."

"We all do. I love her too. I don't want to see her hurt and alone and as I said yesterday, I think she'd freak out and be confused. She's far from stupid and I think she'd appreciate you giving her time to get used to you both as a couple. You've got the summer to spend together before the Fall semester begins so why not just get to know her better, take her out on some dates, let her get comfortable and just see where it goes."

Jesse sighed heavily again and took a moment to consider all that Chloe and Dr Mitchell had said. He knew what they were saying was right but he also knew he was scared of losing Beca and wanted her to know how much he loved her already.

"Are you still with me?" Chloe asked, smiling at how lost in thought Jesse was.

"I am. I know you are right." Jesse said gratefully. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Anyway, you needed my help with something?"

"I did but it looks like it's about to rain. Can we take this back to my apartment?"

"Sure." Jesse said, casting his eyes to the skies. The ominous black clouds were rolling in quite fast but he hadn't noticed them in his mornings endeavours. Jesse stood up and held out his hand for Chloe to take to help her off of the grass. She bent down to collect her tote bag. "What do you need me to do?"

"I've got to learn some lines for this audition back in Los Angeles, you know ... the second chance at the female lead. Amy tried to help but there are a couple of scenes where she began to ad lib and improvise, her hands were everywhere, I got poked in the eye and the boob at least three times and I feared for my life."

"I got it!" Jesse chuckled and took half a step back to let Chloe lead the way.

**.o0o.**

"So things are going well with you?" Luke asked, holding the door of the radio station open for Beca.

"Um yeah, I guess so." Beca replied, hurrying to fish her umbrella out of her purse so she could keep dry as the light spots of rain that she'd first encountered as she left her apartment had turned into a torrential downpour while she was in the radio station with Luke.

"Jesse doing okay this semester?"

"Yeah."

"Are you-"

"-Sorry Luke, I don't mean to be rude but I gotta book. Gotta sort out some Bella stuff with Chloe before the gig on Saturday."

"Oh hey, no worries." Luke said, smiling broadly. "Have a good night."

"Yeah, and you. Listen, we'll do coffee on Friday, okay?"

"Sounds good."

"See ya."

Beca pulled the hood of her jacket up and brought the umbrella down so it almost engulfed her as she headed off in the direction of Chloe's dorm. She'd agreed to meet with Chloe to run through some potential last minute changes to their "Soul Sista" routine they were due to perform that weekend. Beca wasn't happy with Amy's part as they was simply too much arm waving going on for anyone to feel completely safe. Amy was known for her enthusiastic dancing.

Beca was already deep in thought as she crossed the quad towards Chloe's dorm. They were due to receive an on campus house for the Bellas in just a few weeks time and she was mentally running through who was going to share with who. She slowed down as she crossed the Quad, trying to decide whether it would be a good idea to take up a couple of hot coffees for them both as they ran through the routines but changed her mind, remembering the last time Chloe had coffee; she was unable to sleep and talked non stop for three days.

Beca chuckled as she remembered that Chloe reacted to anything stronger than water; even headache tablets made her slightly crazy. Beca wondered how long they would be with the routine as she really wanted a hug from Jesse before going to bed. She even surprised herself with her own thoughts as she had come to realise in the last few weeks that she did, in fact, really like him.

Arriving at Chloe's dorm, she stepped under the short porch and ducked out from underneath the umbrella, turning to shake off the rain before stepping through the door. She was thinking of Jesse as she climbed the first flight of steps, turning left to the room she almost considered her second campus home.

She was about to knock on the door when she heard voices from behind it.

"... but that's the thing. I don't love her anymore."

"What do you mean? I thought you two were perfect for each other."

"We are ... in a way. But I'm just using her until something better comes along."

Beca's eyebrows shot into her hairline. She couldn't quite make out who she was talking to. The voice was familiar but also sounded different at the same, as if someone was putting on a telephone voice or a fake accent and Beca was confused. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked the time, seeing she was a few minutes earlier than planned. She considered that Chloe had another friend in there and she was helping him out with a problem.

Not wanting to disturb them, she set her purse down on the ground and turned so her back was against the wall. She decided to send a few texts while she waited for Chloe to finish. As she typed, she couldn't help but overhear the conversations going on inside.

"But, you told me only yesterday that you wanted to propose to her." Chloe said, her voice muffled.

"I know but I had a conversation with a friend today and they warned me. Said I'd be making a big mistake. Sorry, a huge mistake."

"So, why go along with the relationship?"

"For the sex."

Beca pulled a face as she listened from the other side of the door. Whatever they were discussing was not what she needed to be hearing right now.

"The sex?"

"Yeah, she's shit in bed."

Beca rolled her eyes at that comment.

"Shit hot. Shit. Shit hot. What sounds better?"

"Who cares?" Chloe said. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Well, I'm dumping her the first chance I get. I've seen a better person I want to be with."

"Ooooh!" Chloe exclaimed. "Who?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. I've always had a thing for redheads!"

"You have?"

Beca tried to ignore the conversation that was taking place. She decided that Chloe was busy dealing with whatever and whoever she had in her room and Beca was too tired, cold and wet to interrupt. She decided to grab something to eat and take it over to Jesse's and spend an hour or so with him before catching up on some coursework she was due to hand in by Friday. She wasn't feeling all that great and decided a less energetic night would be preferable.

She quickly sent Chloe a text and said she'd catch up with her the following night. She heard the message tone from inside Chloe's room and decided she'd quickly text Jesse to let him know she'd stopped by Chloe's and she was busy and so she'd head over to his instead. She was just typing it out when she heard something that made her blood run cold.

"Chloe ..." The male voice said. "... I'm in love with you. I need you in my arms, naked, right now. Screw everything else."

"What about-"

"-She doesn't count."

"Jesse, are you sure?"

"Yes Chloe. You are the one I want to be making love to right now."

"But your girlfriend?"

"She was just someone to use to get to you. She means nothing to me. You are the one I want."

Beca stood in the corridor, right outside of her best friend's dorm room, with her hand over her mouth. She couldn't quite believe what she'd just overheard. With a heavy heart, she realised she recognised the male voice in the room all too well. Blinded by sadness, she deleted the text message she'd just written to Jesse, hardly able to believe he was cheating on her with Chloe.

Unable to focus properly and feeling like an utter fool at believing Jesse when he had told her he loved her, she snatched up her purse and staggered towards the stairwell. Part of her wanted to stay and confront them both but the very thought of them together made her feel so very sick. She held onto the stair rail as she ran down the stairs, almost tripping in her haste to get away.

She pushed open the front door, dry heaving as she ran out into the rain. The heavy drops soaked her skin within seconds as she bumbled onto the sodden grass, falling to her knees as she emptied the little contents that she had in her stomach.

She felt so betrayed and so utterly stupid that she'd believed Jesse when he'd whispered all sorts of promises to her as they'd spent the summer getting to know each other. He'd drawn lazy shapes on her bare arms as they shared a towel on a trip to the beach. He'd fetched her drinks, made her coffee, bought her cookies and even recently, when she'd complained of headaches and nausea, he'd been right by her side, doing all he could to make her feel better.

"How could you Jesse?" Beca cried out into the rain. "How could you?"

**.o0o.**

***Ten minutes earlier***

"Right, so you are happy with that part?" Jesse asked, a little wearily as he held the script in front of him. They'd been practising for hours and he was tired.

"I am. What do you think?"

"Honestly?"

"Sure." Chloe said brightly.

"I think the character names are stupid."

"So do I!" Chloe giggled, turning over her copy of the script.

"Garth and Freda?" Jesse said, pointing to one of the names on the paper.

"There just placeholder names." Chloe explained.

"Still." Jesse said, shaking his head a little. "I have a little trouble finding you believable as a Freda. And I think you struggle with the name Garth too."

"A little." Chloe said, reaching for her bottle of water which she kept on the small table by her bed. "We could try it with our proper names and see how that works?"

"Sure."

"Okay, once more and then I'd better let you go. Beca will be here soon."

"That's fine. I'd got some work to finish up anyway." Jesse said.

"I've really appreciated the help today Jesse. Thank you."

"Well, I appreciated your advice with the proposal. I agree, it's a little too keen. But I'll get her a necklace or something so she knows my feelings. And I'll speak to her Dad tomorrow and tell him I've taken his words to heart and-"

"-I think it's for the best. You too are made for each other and you are perfect together. It'll all come together, because it's meant to be."

"I agree. Thanks Chloe. Shall we?" He said, pointing to the script.

"Yes!" Chloe smiled. "But please put on that weird accent again, it was really funny!"

"You got it." Jesse said, clearing his throat. He heard a thump outside the dorm door and looked over for a second expecting someone to knock. Not hearing anything else, he ran his eyes down the script again and picked up at the part where Chloe seemed to be struggling the most with. It was, as she had explained, because it was so out of character for her. She told Jesse that stealing someone else's boyfriend would be at the bottom of her list of things to do. Jesse coughed again and began to speak. "... but that's the thing. I don't love her anymore."

"What do you mean? I thought you two were perfect for each other." Chloe said, picking up where Jesse had begun.

"We are ... in a way. But I'm just using her until something better comes along." Jesse said, pulling a face at Chloe to make her smile.

"But why are you doing that?"

"Because she has no interest in making her life better. I want to reach for the stars."

"She makes you who you are."

"I'm better off without her." Jesse said in his weird voice.

"But, you told me only yesterday that you wanted to propose to her." Chloe said, trying not to laugh at Jesse.

"I know but I had a conversation with a friend today and they warned me. Said I'd be making a big mistake. Sorry, a huge mistake." Jesse said, correcting the word he'd miss read.

"So, why go along with the relationship?"

"For the sex."

"The sex?"

"Yeah, she's shit in bed."

"Shit hot. Shit. Shit hot. What sounds better?" Jesse asked, pointing to the misprinted word on the script that he kept getting wrong every time they read through the particular scene.

"Who cares?" Chloe said, waving her hands about and encouraging him to continue. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Well, I'm dumping her the first chance I get. I've seen a better person I want to be with."

"Ooooh!" Chloe exclaimed. "Who?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. I've always had a thing for redheads!"

"You have?"

"Especially redheads who are up for anything." Jesse continued. He felt a little uncomfortable at the part that was coming up.

"Did someone set you up for this?"

"Meaning?"

"Did Stella tell you I liked you because that was supposed to be a secret?" Chloe said, pausing for a second as she heard the ding on her mobile phone. She took a couple of steps over to her nightstand and picked up her phone, ready to read the message as soon as they finished the scene they were on.

"Chloe, I'm in love with you. I need you in my arms, naked, right now. Screw everything else."

"What about-"

"-She doesn't count."

"Jesse, are you sure?"

"Yes Chloe. You are the one I want to be making love to right now."

"But your girlfriend?"

"She was just someone to use to get to you. She means nothing to me. You are the one I want."

"You know what, you are right!" Chloe said, setting down her script and looking at Jesse. "Using our own names does make it less formal!"

"Are we done for now?" Jesse said.

"Yes, thank you Jesse. Really ... thank you. I appreciate all you have done for me this afternoon."

"You are welcome. Have fun with Beca this evening. Tell her, I'll see her for breakfast in the morning." Jesse smiled.

"You've got it."

"Night Chloe."

"See you soon Jesse." Chloe said, thumbing the screen on her phone as Jesse looked around for his jacket. "Oh doodlebugs. It's a message from Beca! She was here, outside in the corridor but said she was heading over to yours as she heard I was busy talking to someone. She's going to meet me tomorrow morning instead. So she's all yours tonight. So you get to tell Beca that I love her with all of my heart instead of me!"

"She was here?"

"Yes."

"I hope she didn't hear all of that scene meaning acted out!" Jesse laughed. "I wouldn't want her thinking there was something going on between us!"

"True!"

**.o0o.**


	9. Fade To Black

_ A/N - Whoa, this is quite a long chapter. Sorry, not sorry about that! Had a lot to say in this one obviously._

_Just a little heads up that this is an 'M' chapter, not just for the smutty times but parts of the content *might* be a little intense for some. Apologies to anyone who it could possibly offend. It is not intentional._

_My heartfelt thanks to CajunQueen714 for beta'ing this little nugget for me, especially on a Saturday so I could get it __posted! Muchas gracias amigo! Now, get back to writing your own story! :) xx_

* * *

**Playlist of The Heart  
****.o0o. Chapter Nine – Fade To Black .o0o.****  
by Metallica**

**_Life, it seems, will fade away  
Drifting further every day  
Getting lost within myself  
Nothing matters, no one else_**

**_I have lost the will to live  
Simply nothing more to give  
There is nothing more for me  
Need the end to set me free_**

**_Things not what they used to be  
Missing one inside of me  
Deathly lost, this can't be real  
Cannot stand this hell I feel_**

**_Emptiness is filling me  
To the point of agony  
Growing darkness taking dawn  
I was me, but now he's gone_**

**_No one but me can save myself, but it's too late  
Now I can't think, think why I should even try_**

**_Yesterday seems as though it never existed  
Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye_**

**.o0o.**

Chloe Beale sat on the bathroom floor in her townhouse, hugging the toilet in a desperate attempt to stop herself from passing out. She'd been sitting there for an hour, waiting for the nausea to subside because every time she moved, she threw up.

She didn't even start to belittle herself and try to work out if it was something she ate; she knew full well that dry crackers, a few cubes of cheese and a diet coke was not going to have her feeling the way she did. She desperately wanted to call for help, to have someone come over, bring her a glass of water and a clean tee shirt and keep her company as she felt more sick than she'd ever been in her life.

She wasn't pregnant, she knew that.

The chances of that had always been slim; she'd been taking the contraceptive pill since she was seventeen and her full time partner took all of the necessary precautions as well. He had never made any notion towards her about them trying for a baby together and deep down, she understood the reasons why.

Rising up on her knees, Chloe flushed the toilet and watched as the wads of tissue were sucked down the drain. She was desperately thirsty and very cold. Shaking with the effort of standing up, she leant against the vanity unit and caught sight of herself in the mirror above the sink. Even in her weakened state, she could see that she looked like a pile of shite. Her once vibrant and clear skin was now marked, spotty and dull. Her hair was matted, in desperate need of a trim and a good wash. She began to wonder when she stopped caring about herself, but that answer always came so easily and she regretted thinking too much.

Shuffling towards her bedroom, she wondered if it was worth calling Jesse to come over. He would normally drop everything to help out but the past couple of days had seen him acting a little odd. Chloe knew she'd put him through the wringer, causing more drama than she meant to. She had her reasons and hated herself for them. She was so desperate to keep a hold of Jesse that she could no longer think straight.

Holding onto the wall to steady herself, she walked towards her bedroom closet, holding onto the handle for a moment or two as a wave of nausea flooded her system. Shivering slightly, despite the temperatures outside being in the high eighties, Chloe pulled on the closet handle and stepped inside. She was cold and knew she needed layers before she climbed into bed and slept off the bug that was torturing her system.

She dug through her clothing rack, discarding all of her usual favourites, looking for nothing in particular but at the same time, had a specific item in mind. She confusedly rifled through the stack of old sweaters and coats on the left hand side, the ones that no Hollywood starlet would be caught dead wearing in public but she kept because a part of her craved the life from before.

Chloe had had a decent, uncomplicated childhood before she left home for college. There were no family scandals, dramas or weird spandex wearing uncles that slept in the woods. Her parents worked hard but they didn't have a lavishly large home, exotic holidays or drove fancy cars. They were the quintessential American Dream family, decent, kind, community committed and were considered normal. Both Chloe and her older brother Nate attended the local high school, had weekend jobs and hung out with their friends in their spare time. Nate fared better on the sports field while Chloe's aptitude lay in music and drama. She enjoyed taking part in her school's plays and concerts and was an above average student but when asked what she wanted to be when she grew up, her answer was always the same;_ 'I just want to be someone decent'_.

Chloe scoffed as the memory flickered across her mind and she forced it back out again. She was standing stock still in her closet, used to the flashbacks entering uninvited into her brain. She couldn't always remember when things had gotten so messed up and tried not to think back to a time when she'd look forward to her Mom's pot roast on a Sunday or simply hanging out at the local burger joint with her friends. She craved simplicity, and despite her current lifestyle and all of the privileges it afforded her, she didn't enjoy the negative attention she received.

She lived in a nice townhouse; three large bedrooms were on the upper level, all ensuite and spacious. The large, open plan living area consisted of a corner sofa area looking out over the views of the hills, a state of the art entertainment corner with potted plants to soften the electrical, boxy look, a modern and contemporary kitchen with top of the line appliances and all the modern conveniences associated with a hard party lifestyle. Each bedroom was tastefully decorated and themed, completed with an expensive piece of art and high end sculptures.

Everything about the townhouse was clean and modern, orderly and expensive. All of the neighbours in the complex could afford gardeners, pool cleaners and a daily maid. Chloe was no exception. However, she'd been so desperate to hold onto a little piece of herself that she'd created a small area off of the kitchen, somewhere no one else ever entered. It was supposed to the wet room but she'd filled it with a deep carpet, an overstuffed sofa and all of her memorabilia that reminded her of home. She referred to it as her panic room and she'd often take herself down to the den she'd created and sleep on the couch instead of her super king size bed, just because it felt more like her.

She'd host a pool party once a year and invite anyone who was anyone. At first, it was fun, elegant and enjoyed by the B listers of Hollywood. As she slipped into the darker world that no one in Hollywood liked to talk about, the parties changed from champagne flutes and canapes to kegs of beer and nothing else. The elite stayed away and the dealers and hustlers turned up instead. Desperate to keep her contacts, Chloe never asked them not to come.

Digging around in a box at the back of the closet, she found one of Jesse's old Trebles sweatshirts. He'd worn it over one weekend when he'd come to fix some shelves in one of her spare bedrooms. He'd left it on the floor of the bathroom after taking a shower and Chloe had conveniently forgotten to return it to him. She held it in her hands for several minutes before she carefully slipped it over her head pushing her arms of the holes and wrapping her arms around herself. She wanted it to feel as if it was Jesse was hugging her but the sweatshirt held none of his smell and bought her no real comfort.

Feeling the burdens of her guilt begin to bubble over, Chloe climbed into her bed, slipping under the satin bedsheets and sliding down until her head was on the pillow. She laid there looking at the ceiling and remembered a time when everything was so much easier, when she was a nobody and hadn't been forced to leave school over a stupid misunderstanding.

She pulled her phone out of her pyjama pocket and swiped the screen to unlock the device. She scrolled through to the picture gallery and chose the album marked Private. This album contained her most favourite pictures; family, a few from movie sets and her group of friends from college.

She clicked on the last picture in the group and pulled up a screenshot with Beca's last message to her all of those years ago. This was the last time she had ever heard from Beca and she had kept the message, partly because it was a reminder of when and where things had gone so wrong but mostly it was because it was at a time when she and Beca were still close friends.

She missed Beca more than she would ever admit. Beca was everything Chloe had wanted to be; full of determination, grit and chock full of talent. She'd always admired the way Beca had just done her own thing, never feeling like she had to conform to society just to please the unknowns. She had always imagined that she and Beca would be friend's for eternity, being in each other's wedding parties and raising their children together. She never once thought she'd be living with Beca's ex boyfriend and drugged up to the eyeballs for half of the week and drunk for the other three days.

Chloe felt the pang of compunction flood through her as she read the last message Beca had sent, the night when she'd been studying her audition lines in her dorm with Jesse all those years ago. The screenshot held no malice although Chloe had done a good job of twisting that around herself. When she realised that it was her fault that Jesse and Beca were no longer a couple because of a silly play she was rehearsing for, something changed within her forever and she lost her spark.

Guilt is a heavy burden to bear.

And Chloe was no exception to that notion. It messed with her head and while she told herself that she had to let it go, she wasn't a strong person in that way. So she made a choice, she let the old Chloe Beale die and replaced her with someone who was the Hollywood starlet, the one who attended the best parties, the one who plastered a smile on her face and smartened up her appearance so she fit in. She carefully chose the roles that would get her far and after just eighteen months, she was offered the lead in a movie starring opposite Glenn Hackleberry, the latest heartthrob to make the girls weak at the knees.

It turned her into a star and offers poured in and she revelled in it all. But every now and then, when it was quiet or when a date came round that flashed up on her Facebook Timehop from her past, it set her back. She was still Chloe Beale, the overenthusiastic bear hugger who adored M&amp;M's, singing, shoes, pizza and her friends. Aside from Jesse, she had no one and deep down, she knew that. Despite her pretence of a busy address book, she had no one to call when she was having a bad day. She only held onto her housekeeper because she paid Svetlana almost double the going rate.

Wrapped up in Jesse's Treble sweatshirt, she allowed her mind to wander back to the time when she had decided to make it her mission to find Beca and explain to her what had happened that night. When it became apparent that Beca had misunderstood what was going on, Chloe had profusely apologised by text to Beca and tried to make her understand that she had just borrowed Jesse for a few hours so he could help her. Each text had been left unread and eventually bounced back by her service provider. It became clear that Beca had dumped her phone, changed her number or simply blocked Chloe and Jesse's numbers.

Chloe and Jesse had searched the campus for Beca for almost two days, unable to get into Amy and Beca's studio as Amy had to travel back home for a funeral. Eventually, Chloe convinced the landlord to open up the tiny apartment citing their friend being unwell and unable to call for help. Chloe had blindly stumbled into the room as Jesse had exclaimed in disbelief, realising Beca had cleared out the entire contents of her room, leaving absolutely nothing behind but a neatly folded Led Zeppelin tee shirt that she had stolen from Jesse and a small pile of photographs of her and Jesse and memories of college on her bed.

With a broken heart, Chloe had followed Jesse to Dr Mitchell's house, hoping to find Beca hiding out there, furiously mad but at least willing to listen. Dr Mitchell hadn't even let them into the house, refusing to give out any information without Beca's permission. Jesse had pleaded with professor who remained impassive in the discussions. Later on, when the dust had settled, Chloe had remembered a ghost of a smile on Beca's father's face that suggested he found the whole thing quite amusing and almost pleased that his daughter's relationship had come to an end.

They returned three more times before he stopped coming to the door altogether and Beca's stepmom, Sheila, had answered their persistent knocks. In an effort to get rid of them and to stop the neighbours latching on to the hint of drama, Sheila told them Beca had moved up to New York to live with her Mom and finish her education at a different school.

Despite niggling doubts to the truth of the location of her friend, Chloe, with barely enough money to get through the next week, decided to sell what she could for gas money so she could drive halfway across the country in an attempt to find Beca but she did it anyway. Packing her car with bedding and as much food as she could beg, borrow or steal, she set off with Jesse in tow. They took turns in driving, slept in shifts and ate the bare minimum to keep them going.

The car broke down so often that it took them three weeks to travel a distance that should have only taken a few days. Without a phone charger, their mobiles were flat within a couple of days and between them they decided that gas money was more important than a working cell. This decision proved costly to them as, upon checking their emails in a small, side of the road, cafe where they'd stopped to refuel, Jesse got an email to say that due to lack of attendance, his place at Barden had been terminated.

He immediately contacted his family and begged his father to speak to the Dean and ask him to keep his place. He also asked his parents to wire him some money so they could get back to Atlanta. He waited for a couple of hours by the phone while Chloe used the free phone to place some calls of her own. Jesse's father called back and said that at that point in time, there was nothing to be done. With his head in his hands, Jesse remembered a conversation with Beca one night over hot chocolate and a shared pretzel, that Dr Mitchell and the Dean were old college roommates and Jesse knew there and then that the elder Mitchell had something to do with him losing his place.

Jesse offered to drive the remainder of the way up to New York, knowing if he didn't keep his mind occupied, he was likely to lose his shit over the way everything had fallen apart. He asked Chloe to talk about something, anything in the car to stop the deafening silence. She poured her heart out to him, explained that she blamed herself and that the culpability was eating her up.

Jesse had been surprised to learn about Chloe's guilt, having spent the past month blaming himself of all that had transpired. As the car ate up the miles, the two friend's developed a deep connection over their love of Beca and their current adventure. Chloe had explained that she had forty eight hours to get to Los Angeles before she lost her casting call and Jesse had encouraged her to abandon their plan to get to New York and he'd continue on the venture alone. Chloe had refused and said that Beca was more important than an audition.

She had also explained that she had no money to fly now, having used it to pay for gas and car repairs along the way. Jesse had offered to lend her the money to get a flight and together they worked out a plan to make sure she had enough time to make it to Beca's Mom's house, speak to Beca then catch the last flight out to Los Angeles. With renewed hope for a favourable outcome, they made it to New York in the middle of the night.

It was obvious when they pulled up on the road outside the house that no one was home and hadn't been for a long time. The grass being over a foot high in places, a stack of discarded newspapers lay around the overflowing mailbox and the broken porch swing was testament to the abandoned home. Without saying anything, both of them knew immediately that they had been sent on a wild goose chase. They sat in the car for a few hours, until the sun came up before Jesse drove Chloe to the airport.

It took him a long time to convince Chloe to get on the plane and fly across the country. Exhaustion had hit her hard and self doubts were firmly wedged on her shoulders. Realising that he didn't have much else to do, Jesse offered to fly with her and keep her company before he went back to Barden and repaired the mess that had become his life. He had already decided that another couple of days wasn't going to make much of a difference.

As Chloe looked through the old photos on her phone, she once again felt the pang of regret, knowing, without meaning to, that she had managed to ruin so many lives. She'd taken up Jesse offer and they'd flown together to Los Angeles where he'd paid for a cheap hotel room so they could both get some sleep before meeting up with Chloe's agent the next morning for breakfast. He promised her that he would do all he could to get her settled before continuing on his search for his girlfriend.

The trouble was, he never left Los Angeles again.

After a few days of waiting to hear back about Chloe's audition, Jesse's phone had begun to blow up with messages from his friends. The rumour mill had been in overdrive and fingers were being pointed that Jesse had cheated on Beca with Chloe. He denied it, feeling angry that he had to defend himself to people who should have known him better but as the day turned into night, he realised how the whole situation must have looked like to Benji and Aubrey.

He made a rash decision, based on a moment of exasperation and a very large chip on his shoulder that he was done with everyone back in Atlanta and he'd stay put in California to look for work, maybe even an apprenticeship, save up enough money and continue searching for Beca. He sat in the hotel room waiting for Chloe to come home to tell her the news when she called him to tell him she'd been offered the part in her movie. He could hear the confliction in her voice as they spoke, part of her ecstatic about the job offer and the other half pained to know what it had cost them both.

It hadn't taken Jesse long to find work. He bussed tables and found work in a bar, working eighteen hours a day while Chloe began shooting her first picture. The crew had been on standby while the female lead had been recast and it had all been ready to go. To save money, Jesse and Chloe continued to live together, moving from the hotel after a month to live in a cheap studio apartment that was sandwiched between a dry cleaners and a motorbike repair shop. It was fine and they made do, both ignoring the fact they had to share a bed and their meagre belongs with each other.

In what little spare time he had, Jesse scoured for news of Beca. It became clear that he was being completely ignored by everyone from Barden, even after he received a delivery of some of his personal belongings from his dorm room, sent anonymously. The internet became his friend but without any clues, he found the search fruitless and depressing. He'd tell anyone who would listen about his situation, how he still loved the girl from Atlanta. People didn't understand why he'd moved away if he still loved her but something in the back of his mind said to give Beca time to calm down. He hadn't quite meant three years or however long it was since he'd last spoken to her. After eighteen months, he stopped missing every all the time, it was just random moments when he saw something he knew Beca would like.

In an effort to cheer him up, and to appease her own guilt, Chloe took him along to one of the wrap parties as her filming schedule came to an end. He was reluctant to go at first but the thought of a beer and conversation that was with someone other than Chloe, he eventually agreed. This proved to be his and Chloe's downfall.

The party was held at a small club in West Hollywood. Jesse was slightly awestruck by his surroundings and stuck by Chloe's side the whole evening. It became apparent that everyone thought he and Chloe were a couple and by the end of the evening, he'd given up trying to explain that they were just friends. As the night wore on, Chloe became more and more involved with the scene and Jesse began to wonder if she had gotten too drunk. She assured him she'd not had a drink all evening, which the man she was chatting with found extremely funny. It wasn't until they were about to leave the club that Jesse realised someone must have slipped something in Chloe's soft drink. She was wide eyed, clearly high on something and was using him to steady herself as they climbed the short flight of steps out of the building to catch a cab.

Little did they both know that the paparazzi were outside, waiting for a glimpse of Elizabeth Banks who was reportedly dining in the upstairs restaurant. One of the photographers recognised Chloe, having lurked outside the studios were her movie was being filmed hoping to catch a glimpse of Glenn Hackleberry and immediately started taking her picture. In order to help prevent Chloe's wide eyed and clearly spaced out expression from ruining her chance of a big break, Jesse quickly pulled her into his side, tucking her head into his shoulder and pretended to shield her bad decisions from the front pages.

It had worked but the news began to filter through Hollywood that the newest up and coming star's boyfriend was a hottie, a protector and someone who was keeping the young star grounded. Chloe's agent recommended they keep up the facade, seeing as it made Chloe seem more homely and less like a party girl, something the film industry was starting to despise.

Jesse gave up one of his jobs and became Chloe's arm candy to anything that required her stepping outside of her front door. She paid his expenses and neither of them realised that over the next few months, instead of being friends, Jesse had become Chloe's bitch. He began to take control over Chloe's life, organising her calendar and taking her anywhere she needed to go, her excessive party lifestyle leaving her unable to drive legally. He began to cook meals for her that she never ate, citing being busy as the reason she began to skip meals. He forced her to eat at least one nutritional thing every day, which she did, although he never realised she was throwing it up afterwards.

To the outside word, Chloe Marie Beale had it all. With the right stylists, she could walk out of her townhouse in the centre of hollywood and look like a million dollars. She was born beautiful with a head full of curly red hair that was the envy of many. Her bright blue eyes shone brightly, twinkling under the glamourous lights and her skin was clear and cleverly made up. She wore the right clothes, fashionable but not flashy and donated money to charity. What no-one saw was that it was Jesse who organised the beauty therapy appointments, reached out to fashion houses to send her their junior designers clothes to showcase and sorted out her casting calls, television interviews and appearances.

They had come to an agreement that they would never verbally confirm their relationship and let the papers decide what they wanted to. After some coaching from her agent, Chloe told Jesse that, when asked, she would deny their friendship slash relationship as having her single and available would do better in the ratings.

This oxymoron confused Jesse beyond belief. They were to let the public believe they were a couple, take pictures together and be seen out in public as a young, energetic, fun duo but Chloe was to dismiss any conversation about them together. It made Jesse feel used but that emotion was welcomed over his guilt about losing Beca and the overwhelming feeling that he simply missed her company. He still cringed whenever he watched Chloe in an interview as she followed the pattern she'd been taught.

_"__So, Chloe, tell me ..." The chat show host began. "... you've got a new movie out this Fall and rumour has it, you are also doing a sequel to 'Town House'. Is that correct?"_

_"__Wow Gail!" Chloe exclaimed, leaning forward in her chair in mock excitement. "Are you having me followed?!"_

_Gail laughed thinly, used to the up and coming actresses trying to confirm it was true without committing to anything._

_"__Oh you know how secrets get around Hollywood!" Gail mirthed before leaning forward on her elbows. "So, tell me about this mystery man of yours. All we know is that you call him Jay and that you live together."_

_"__Oh him." Chloe said, waving her hand to dismiss the conversation away. "He's just a friend. Only a friend. Nothing more."_

And at the time, there was nothing more to it but it still hurt Jesse when he looked back on YouTube at the early interviews that she disregarded him so easily. She refused to talk about anything when she got home, pulling a beer from the fridge before she even took her shoes off. She'd lay on one end of the sofa, sink her beer in seconds, ask him to rub her feet and get him to tell her about his day. He'd be in the middle of telling her the mundane details when he'd realise she was fast asleep. He'd carefully scoop her up, marvel at how light she was in his arms and put her to bed in her clothes before returning to the couch to look at photos of Beca on his phone or casually do some research on the internet to see if her name popped up anywhere.

It never did.

The most important thing Jesse felt he was doing for Chloe was keeping her dark side out of the papers. She like to party but the rational side of her realised that she could damage her career in an instant with one unfavourable photograph. As her drinking habits switched from light beers to hard liquor, he began to warn her of the dangers she could face if she didn't slow down. With vodka flavoured breath, she'd laugh in his face as he implored her to slow down. He was exhausted from running around, fixing any scrapes she got into.

However, it wasn't long before he noticed the bottles of booze were gone from the house and feeling victorious that he'd gotten through to her, he relaxed a little after he'd dropped her off at a party at a small time director's house, an annual event he hosted to celebrate the Golden Globes. Knowing Chloe would be out until the wee hours, Jesse went home to get some sleep before he had to head back out to his day job.

He'd been asleep for three hours when he received a call to say that Chloe had been rushed into hospital and he was to come as soon as he could. Panicking over what could have happened to his friend, he sped through the streets of Los Angeles to get to her. Finding her tucked up in a hospital bed, looking so tiny and small, his heart had almost broken until he was pulled aside by one of the doctors who had recognised her. Telling Jesse the truth was hard for him but the young doctor liked the actress and wanted her safe and well.

Jesse was shocked to learn that Chloe had gotten into the drug scene and that had replaced the alcohol she'd become so addicted to. When she woke up, after having her stomach pumped, Jesse had forced Chloe to tell him the truth.

It took a lot of tears and several attempts for the real story to come out and Jesse had never had to promise to keep his mouth shut so much. Chloe admitted that before an audition three months earlier, she'd been so unbelievably nervous that she'd made herself sick in the waiting room. She had wanted to walk out, go back home and climb into bed as the shakes had overtaken her body. She wished she'd brought a hip flask to the audition so she could have had a quick drink to calm her nerves but had nothing with her. She'd began talking to another actor who was there to read for the male part of the film. Admitting her nerves, he'd offered her some of his prescription medication which was given to him for his nerves. Chloe took two of the pills offered to her without so much as a second thought.

She never did find out what he'd actually given to her.

But she loved the feeling it gave her.

She sailed through the audition, earning satisfied nods from the casting agents and a call back within an hour of her leaving the studio. It wasn't until she was home and the euphoria had worn off that she realised what it was that had gotten her the second read through. Believing it made her a better actresses, Chloe began researching something to take the edge of her newly found nerves. Finding nothing that could be bought over the pharmacy counter, Chloe went in search of the actor she'd spent the afternoon with to get the name of the drug he'd given her.

He had laughed when she finally caught up with him a couple of days later and told her that the pills could be bought at any street corner for a few bucks. Not quite understanding what he meant, her naivety still running through her core, he'd taken her to his dealer and introduced Chloe to the murkier side of fame. Within days, Chloe was hooked on whatever she could get her hands on. It started small at first, a couple of pills in the morning to get her started and on track to act her ass off but within a month, she was taking something five times a day.

She lost even more weight and comments on how good she looked ingrained in her brain, making her think she was doing the right thing and what she was taking was actually good for her. It wasn't until her collapse that the truth came out.

Jesse offered to get her some help and support her with getting clean. She went along with his pleadings, pretending to be interested in getting the assistance but deep down she knew her recent success was down to the lines she was snorting off of the toilet seat every few hours.

The withdrawals were the worst. She'd fly into rages, drink more, get sick more and would usually end up taking something to stop the feelings from reappearing. She'd cry into Jesse's shoulder, beg him to make the pain go away and ask him to get her something to eat. As soon as he left the apartment, she'd run to find her secret stash and rub enough white, crunchy powder on her gums to get her through the latest wave of nausea.

Jesse would return with boxes of takeout and find her passed out on the floor. Thinking she was sick, he'd carefully put Chloe to bed and sit by her side, hoping that his kindness would help her get through this period of her life. Although he tried not to, over time, he began to get cross with her and failed to understand why she couldn't just quit the drugs. He claimed to not understand addiction but failed to realise that in his own way, he was addicted to Chloe. And that feeling only got worse a few weeks later.

Chloe was house hunting for a larger apartment or a small house and Jesse was helping. She'd casually mentioned him moving in with her and they'd get a two bedroom place but Jesse was becoming resentful of her control over him and felt he would do better in a place of his own. Chloe claimed to understand his way of thinking but later on in the day, he'd found her high as a kite on something in the bathroom. He also found an almost empty bottle of vodka in her right hand and angrily snatched it from her. She began to tease him, her drunken words grating on his last nerve.

When she began to gyrate on his left hip, flicking his ears with one hand and running the other through his hair, something in him snapped and he forcefully kissed her on the lips. She'd fought him, not wanting him to get something he wanted over her need to tease him and be in control. He'd pulled away, horrified at what he had done but the stirrings within him had begun. He'd walked away and gone on a long walk to clear his mind, returning only when he felt had his emotions in check.

He opened the door to find Chloe in the middle of a one person party, halfway through a second bottle of vodka and wearing nothing but an oversized tee shirt. As soon as she saw him, she wiped her fingers under her nose and Jesse's rage at her obvious attempt to remove any evidence of her using drugs caused him to lunge forward and knock the alcohol from her hand. He held her wrists as she laughed in his cross face and tried to get away.

It didn't take her long to notice how strong he was and he wasn't going to let go. In her addled state, she managed to pull one of her hands free and in a desperate attempt to shock him, grabbed him between the legs. Shocked by her onslaught, Jesse let go of her other hand and tried to keep her hands away from his junk.

"I can feel it." She said, fumbling with his belt.

"What?" Jesse said, trying to stop her.

"What caushed Becash to have such a schmile on her facesh all the time." Chloe slurred, grinning as she found the memory amusing. She nodded towards his crotch. "You are a big boy Jesse."

"Don't." Jesse said calmly, wincing at his long lost love's name.

"Oh, I can't shay her name nows." Chloe purred, laughing at Jesse's discomfort. "She'sh not here Jessche."

"Chloe stop it." Jesse said, pulling away from her hands on his belt. "You're drunk and I'm not going to get into this with you right now."

"Just think Jessch. We could have fun been having fun all thisch fun all the time."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Maybe Becash did ush a favour?"

"What?" Jesse repeated.

"She wasch no good for you." Chloe said, licking her lips as she sashayed up to him. She grabbed his junk with both hands, ignoring the wince on his face as she painfully held him in a vice like grip. "Or maybesch you *hic* weren't any good for *hic* her?"

"Chloe, I'm going to bed. You can party all you like but I'm not getting into-"

"-Poor Jessche and his tiny *hic* pee pee." Chloe mocked. "Not man *hic* enough to keep *hic* a girl."

"Chloe, that's enough."

"It's never enough." Chloe ridiculed. "If she was happy then-"

"NO!" Jesse shouted. "IF YOU HADN'T-"

"-Nothing to do with me!" Chloe yelled back, matching his sudden outburst.

"It's all your fault she left!"

"Fuck you Jessche! Fuck you *hic* and fuck Becash!"

"Fuck YOU!" Jesse bellowed and pushed Chloe away. In his anger, he shoved her a bit too hard and she fell backwards. Jesse reached out a hand to grab her, catching her sleeve instead of her arm. Her shirt ripped open, exposing her naked form underneath and Jesse snarled at the sight of her giggling as she hit the floor.

"There Jessche. Now you've scheen what *hic* you can't have."

"Fuck you."

"Yesh, you want *hic* to. But you aren't *hic* man enough *hic* to do it." Chloe said, opening her legs to show him her goods.

"Chloe, I-"

"-Fuck me Jessche. Unless *hic* Becash *hic* took your penish with her."

"I'm going to bed." Jesse said, his anger bubbling just below the surface.

"Oh whatsh the matter *hic* Jessche? Can't *hic* get it up?" Chloe said, struggling to her feet and making no attempt to cover herself up. She took her left breast in one hand and began to massage it, watching Jesse intently as he tried to ignore what she was doing. "My boobsh are bigger *hic* than Becash."

"Please stop." Jesse said, gulping heavily.

"Why Jessche? No man *hic* can-"

Chloe hadn't gotten to finish her sentence as Jesse seized the ripped shirt she was wearing and roughly pulled her towards him, crushing his lips onto hers again, doing anything he could think of to stop her talking. He was angry and he hoped by silencing her for a few moments, she'd fall asleep and he'd leave.

But he found his lips working on Chloe's in a way that made his body respond. He closed his eyes for just a moment and when he opened them again, he found Chloe's own looking directly at him, judging him, daring him to take what he wanted. For some reason and something he couldn't even fathom out later, he wanted to teach Chloe a lesson. He'd show her not to talk about Beca like that.

He slipped his tongue into Chloe's mouth as she fought his advance for a few seconds before she sank her hands into his hair, pulling him even closer into her mouth. Without breaking their connection, he scooped her up under the knees and carried her to the bedroom, where he threw her down on the bed and stood back to look at her. He realised as he stepped back that he might be taking something that was not consensual; a notion that would never have sat well with him. Chloe looked back at him, watching him as he contemplated walking away and taking a cold shower. She gave her answer by laying back on the pillows and beckoning him to come to her, nodding as if to solidify her answer.

"Make ush *hic* forget." Chloe whispered as she reached over into her bedside cabinet, rummaging around in the top drawer and finding a small tin. She popped the lid and pulled out a condom which she held out to him as she dropped the tin onto the bedroom floor. "Pleasche."

There was no denying Chloe's consent and Jesse's groin ached with need at the look on her face. He knew Beca was gone from his life and he needed a release and seeing as he was so full of guilt anyway, what did one more act matter. He began to strip off his belt as he stepped towards her, taking the condom from her as he approached the bed again. He dropped his jeans to the floor as she reached over to switch off the overhead light.

Blinking in the pitch black and temporarily blinded, Jesse felt around on the bed for Chloe, hearing her giggle and mock him for not being able to find her. He raised himself up on his knees and pulled his tee shirt over his head, falling on top of her as he lost his balance.

Noticing he was in a good position to start, he began to kiss her breasts, hearing her hiss as he caught one of her nipples between his teeth, biting down harder on the swollen bud than he meant to. She wiggled down lower on the bed and followed the boob he was attached to and laid down next to her, his junk pressing into the mattress as he lost himself.

He continued kissing her breasts as his hands roamed over her hips and thighs. He kissed further down her chest, over her stomach and around her belly button, breathing in her scent as she opened her legs for him. Not wanting to give in as quickly as she seemed to want him to, he tickled his way down her legs and took both ankles in his hand, lifting them up and telling her to hold the position. He sat up and looked down the length of her legs, to the joining of her neat ass and the sweet spot between her inner thighs. He could see that she was already turned on and he wondered if this was what she'd planned all along.

For some reason, that made him angry and he felt around for the condom on the bed, deciding that she didn't deserve the same treatment he'd afforded Beca. Ripping open the packet with his teeth, he held it for a second as he raised himself up to his knees and pulled down his boxers. He rolled the condom on his rapidly swelling junk and roughly grabbed Chloe between the legs. She hissed again at his onslaught and giggled as he dipped a finger instead her.

"That the *hic* best you *hic* can do?" She mumbled, finishing off her snark with a tiny belch.

Jesse pushed her legs apart as he shuffled forward. He held his thoughts in his head as he cupped her ass cheeks and squeezed painfully as he parted her thighs. Chloe dropped her feet to the bed and shuffled on her back, not once reaching forward to touch him, her drunken state beginning to slow her now that she was laying down.

Jesse brushed his thumb up the smooth cleft of her sex and started to circle the hood of her clit, needing to know she was ready as he wasn't quite prepared to hurt her, despite all she had made him feel. He flicked her clit and felt the tremor in her thigh as wetness flooded his hand.

_'__Already?'_ He thought to himself.

"Just fuck me already *hic*." Chloe growled, clearly bored with any warm up that Jesse was trying to do.

Anger flew through him once more as his lip curled in response. He dipped two fingers inside her, feeling her stiffen as he entered. He couldn't quite work out what she wanted, she talked the talk of wanting a straight up fuck but her body said she wasn't quite ready.

"Do it!" Chloe yelled.

Jesse pressed his fingers upward, towards the direction of her front wall, hoping he was heading in the right direction of her G spot. Chloe's hips jerked upwards at the sudden change and she gasped loudly, trying to squeeze her legs together to deal with the feeling. Jesse had no intention of stopping now and pummelled through her objection.

"Is that the *hic* besht you can do?"

"Shut up." Jesse grunted, grabbing his now hard erection with one hand and shuffling forward on his knees to line up with her entrance. He lets the swollen tip of his penis sit there as he roughly grabbed both of Chloe's knees and pushed them upwards towards her chest. He locks eyes with her and couldn't decide if the glistening in her eyes was the start of fearful tears or bored anger.

He decided not to care as he drove himself into with one long, hard thrust. Chloe whimpered and her stomach contracted as she wiggled underneath him, trying to accommodate his thick length. Jesse knew he was being a good deal firmer and rougher than he normally would have been and probably hurt her but Chloe had driven him wild over the last few months and in his slackened state, he chose to believe this was his payback.

Jesse held himself stock still inside of Chloe and watched as she relaxed under him, He continued to hold onto both knees as he pulled almost completely out of her, feeling her entrance contract around him as he hovered above her. Without any warning, he smashed his pelvis back into hers and watched as she bit her lip against the uncomfortable feeling. For some reason he didn't understand, that spurred him on, watching her lose her tight control over him and he enjoyed the moment watching her wince as he pounded his aggression into her.

It only took a couple more plunges before he started moving more fluidly and Chloe began to match his movements. She reached down and held onto his hips, pulling him into her, harder and harder. At first, it broke Jesse's rhythm but once he understood what she was trying to do, he matched her thrusts. He released one of her leg which he let fall onto the bed and he hooked the other over his shoulder, stretching her core and allowing him better access.

Chloe reached up with a shaking hand and slapped Jesse's face, clawing at his cheek with blunt fingernails as he pounded into her, not letting up, not giving her a chance to rest or catch her breath. Her eyes began to roll as he forced her body to respond. Swallowing his feeling of guilt at the difference in his temperament, he couldn't look at her face any longer. It began to blur to Beca's and he didn't want the memory of her sweet face as they made love to blend with the angry fuckfest he was currently taking part in.

Without warning, he pulled out of Chloe with a loud thwop and pushed her leg off of his shoulder. He held her hips and with strength he didn't know he had, he ignored the surprised look on her face and flipped her over. She struggled to balance herself as he smacked her on the ass and slapped her legs until she went up onto her knees. Still on his own knees, he pushed her shoulders down until she face planted into the pillow and without giving her a chance to get comfortable, he took her by the hips again and slid back inside. He ignored her whimpers as he drove into her with smooth, deep to the hilt strokes. He no longer cared as he pressed harder each time, feeling the bones of her ass pressing into his pelvis.

Jesse began to groan and without meaning to, slipped a hand under her stomach and let it travel down towards her clit. He roughly pinched it as Chloe squealed, taking deep gasps as he thrust her into the downy pillow. Rubbing her clit forcefully, he felt her walls begin to contract around him, squeezing him and making it harder for him to push into her.

He felt her hot, wet gush flood out of her as she exploded, orgasming hard and fast. She convulsed around him, shaking violently as he kept pounding, ripping a second orgasm from her. She was physically shaking, bouncing on her knees as her voice returned and she grunted and growled loudly into the room. As her face turned, Jesse could see how red she was from lack of oxygen and in that moment, thought she'd never looked more beautiful.

Jesse kept going as long as he could before he emptied himself inside of her with a quiet but satisfied grunt. He collapsed on top of Chloe and rolled them both onto the bed as he took deep lungfuls to satisfy his thumping chest.

He pulled out of Chloe and rolled away from her, sitting on the edge of the bed for a moment. He didn't want to talk to her and certainty didn't want to hear anything she had to say. He felt a bit sick at what had just happened and quietly walked to the ensuite bathroom to clean up. By the time he had come out, intent on sleeping on the sofa for the night but determined to look for an apartment the very next morning, Chloe had covered herself with her blankets and his neatly folded jeans were on the edge of the bed. He collected his pants and looked over towards her as if to say something. Her eyes were closed tightly and she appeared to be sleeping so he crept towards the bedroom door. He pulled it open with a soft pop and slipped through the opening, hoping that the light from the hallway didn't wake her up. He knew she'd wake up with one hell of a hangover in the morning and didn't want to deal with that any earlier than he had to.

He was about to shut the door when he heard her whisper into the dark room.

"Thank you. I'm sorry. I love you." He didn't know exactly who she was talking to but didn't care enough to ask. He closed the door quietly and they never spoke of that night to each other. Jesse didn't know if she even remembered what had happened as she didn't surface from her bedroom for two days.

But Chloe did remember, she could recall most of the night and not in a favourable way. It was the night she fell for Jesse because, despite everything, it was the first time she had felt anything other than guilt for the longest time. And as the months went past and they continued to sleep together, they became a couple. It was more out of necessity than love, and deep down they both knew that. As the months turned into years, Chloe's addiction to drugs became a problem and Jesse found himself doing more and more for her.

One night, whilst rearranging Chloe's closet in her townhouse, Jesse came across a large box full of Barden Bella memorabilia and asked Chloe why she still had it, seeing as she never thought about her old life. Chloe broke down and confessed to Jesse that she thought about Barden all the time and the guilt had never gone away. Jesse admitted that he felt the same way and always carried a burden with him. He told her that he hated the way everything had ended and while he knew it was unrepairable, he still wondered where Beca was in the world and how she was doing.

Chloe told Jesse that she loved him for the first time. He knew it wasn't real love, it was something born out out of a need, rather than a want. Chloe knew that Jesse didn't love her back, she knew his heart belonged elsewhere but held onto him regardlessly.

After that conversation and Jesse had gone back to his own home, Chloe pulled her laptop into her den, her panic room of sorts and logged onto the internet. She began to research Beca's movements and found nothing; it was as if the girl had stopped existing after she had left Barden. Chloe wondered if Beca was dead but knew that someone would have told her, one of the girls from college certainly would have done to spite her with their cruel words, if nothing else.

Chloe was about to put the laptop away when she remembered something Beca had said from one of their earliest conversations when they were first friends. Beca had said that if she was ever going to get famous, she would use an alias so she could live her personal life relatively undiscovered whilst making it in her career. Chloe wracked her brain to remember if Beca had ever told her what name she would use but she couldn't recall it, even after three strong cups of coffee and an onion bagel.

She thought of hiring a private investigator but chose not to, deciding that dredging up the past might cause more problems than it was worth. She went to bed that night dreaming of what she would say to Beca should she ever run into her. She never really got past saying hello and sorry.

It was four months later when Chloe was laying in Jesse's bed with a headache and the shakes and a random name popped into her head like a comedic speech bubble. She had no idea what it meant to her but Jesse had gone out to collect breakfast after she'd put him through a bad night so she couldn't ask him. She went in search for her purse to retrieve her phone but it was missing and Chloe couldn't recall if she'd lost it or Jesse had hidden it from her. She searched around in her clothes pockets for something to take the edge off her panic but couldn't find anything. Memories of the night before flooded her system and she knew she'd been throwing up of hours, hence the tremors she was experiencing.

Jesse had taken care of her, as always and she'd probably given him a lot of crap about everything. She tried to think about what it was like to be off the drugs and drink, if she was still a good person underneath but her thoughts were cut short by Jesse returning home, without breakfast.

She wasn't upset about it at all, her stomach too nervous to accept food anyway but when she questioned him as to why he hadn't picked it up the takeout, he told her he'd gotten into a fender bender and just wanted to come home. He looked a little shaken up so she hadn't said anything and remained on her best behaviour for the rest of the day. The evening had proved to a complete disaster as she suffered withdrawal symptoms and she attacked Jesse, ever fearful that he was about to walk out on their troubled relationship and leave her. He was still quiet a couple of days later but she knew he was having some troubles at work, which was mostly her fault for constantly fucking up.

It was on the morning of the third day of Jesse's quiet mood when the name _'Aria'_ popped back into Chloe's mind with an audible ping. Her cheeks pinked as she remembered Beca talking about how she was going to use that name as her stage name. Chloe almost rolled off of the sofa in her effort to get to her laptop as quickly as she could. She launched into Google with enthusiasm and typed in the name. Scrolling through the first page or so of descriptions of what Aria meant, Chloe happened upon a wikipedia page about the music producer Aria. Despite there being no picture, Chloe knew that this was Beca.

The page didn't give much away about who the real person was almost sealed the deal for Chloe. She scribbled down the name and address of the recording agency that Aria worked for and made a plan to wait outside the studio to see if she could see Beca. She then knew she'd pass on the name to Jesse so he could talk to her if he chose to. She considered it her gift to him for all of the crap she'd put him through.

After a long, hot shower, she carefully dressed in her favourite, comfortable jeans, a warm and familiar sweatshirt and her well worn slouch boots. She spent a little extra time on her hair and makeup. She wasn't planning on meeting with anyone but wanted her confidence high to deal with the day. She didn't tell Jesse where she was going but knew he wouldn't call around anyway.

She decided to drive herself in, what she called, her inconspicuous car; a Chevrolet Malibu which had tinted windows yet somehow the vehicle blended in with the rest of the cars where she lived. She drove carefully, enjoying being out of the townhouse and out in the real world. It took her an hour to find the recording studio and she pulled up outside the small bricked building to check the address before making a U turn and parking up on the other side of the street to wait. She switched off the engine and settled down for the long wait.

A couple of hours passed and Chloe was almost ready to give up. She was bored, thirsty and getting fidgety. She dug around in her purse for her phone, checking for any messages or emails for the hundredth time. It was while she was checking it that she almost missed the highly polished black door to the recording studio open. It was only the sound of a car driving by with a heavy base to its stereo that she looked up.

Her blood ran cold as she looked over to other side of the street, catching the unmistakable figure of her former best friend. Chloe's eyes widened as she took in Beca's slimmer frame and she wondered how it was possible for her to be so much smaller than she had been the last time Chloe had seen her. Chloe almost smiled at how long Beca's hair had gotten and how it bounced and shone in the midday sun. She looked healthy and happy as she walked a few feet down the road, keeping her head low all of the time. She stopped in her tracks and pulled her phone out of her pocket, immediately putting it to her ear. Chloe watched as she talked on the phone for a minute or two, tucking herself into the shadows of the building.

She didn't realise as she watched Beca chat animatedly on the phone, using her hand to express herself even though the caller couldn't see what she was doing. Chloe watched Beca as she looked at the watch on her wrist and nodded several times before looking up and down the street. Beca's eyes fell upon Chloe's car but only glanced at it for a second or two. Chloe held her breath the whole time, watching with a fearful anticipation. She wanted to get out of the car and run over to her friend and just talk to her but she remembered Beca's ways and knew that would be the last thing she should do.

Chloe watched as Beca finished up her call and continued looking up and down the street as she tucked the phone back in her pocket. Chloe guessed she was waiting for someone as she leant against the building. Chloe's bravery kicked in and she decided to risk a conversation with Beca. She realised as she waited in the car just how much she had missed her. She was also so very pleased for Jesse, knowing he'd have so much comfort from the news. Chloe's hand was on the door handle when she saw a car pull up next to where Beca was waiting.

She watched through the window as Beca approached the car. The door opened and Chloe was surprised to see Beca's stepmom step out of the car. She was quite shocked to see that the two women embraced briefly before Sheila pulled on the back door of the car. Chloe blinked a couple of times, remembering Beca's sheer reluctance to spend any time with her.

Sheila was chatting quite comfortably with Beca as they stood on the side of the road, and at one point Beca threw her head back and laughed, covering her mouth with her hand as she found something that Sheila had said very funny. Chloe smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her at seeing Beca so happy.

Her smile stayed frozen on her face as Sheila reached into the back of the car and lifted out a young girl who Chloe reckoned was about two or three. Sheila slotted the youngster on her hip for a moment as Beca reached in after her and pulled out a pretty bag covered in butterflies that she swung onto her shoulder.

_'__Must be her sister.'_ Chloe though, wracking her brain to remember Beca's little brother's name._ 'Danny. That's the boy. Aww, she has a sister too.'_

She watched them interact for a few more seconds before Beca took the little girl from Sheila and cuddled her tightly as the older women patted the younger on the shoulder a few times. Sheila then looked at her watch before talking with Beca, who nodded several times before kissing the little girl on the cheek a couple of times. They stood and watched as Sheila got back into the car and waved as she drove off.

Beca then turned and headed back towards the studio, talking to the little girl in her arms. Chloe watched them both intently, keeping as still as possible and tried to ignore the fact that Beca looked towards her car again. As they approached the studio, Beca turned in the sunshine, giggling with the little girl. As the sun's rays caught the child in her arms, highlighting her pretty hair and shiny brown eyes, Chloe gasped as she recognised a familiar face and an even more familiar look emanating from the youngster.

Mentally calculating times and dates in her mind, she realised that the little girl holding on so tightly and securely to Beca must be her daughter judging by how comfortable they both looked with each other and there really was no mistaking who her father was; for Chloe it was like looking a female version of Jesse. She'd never seen such a beautiful child and although shocked, somehow she felt as if this was old news, like she'd known it all along but hadn't had official confirmation. Not that it was anything to do with her but she was just so happy for Beca!

Chloe watched them both enter the building and only looked away when the door closed behind them. She sat still for a few minutes, trying to make sense of everything. Beca was a Mommy which made Jesse a Daddy. And in a roundabout way, Chloe was partially to blame for Jesse not knowing that.

She began to cry, unable to get that thought out of her mind. She wept as she thought of Beca going through a pregnancy, birth and her child's early years on her own. She cried for Jesse and all that he had missed out on. She knew he would have made an excellent Dad and despite being young, would have done all he could for them both. The guilt began to eat away at her and she began to sob uncontrollably.

Chloe didn't know how long she sat in the car before she came back to her senses. She was exhausted as she turned the key in the ignition and just wanted to get home. She had no idea what she was going to say to Jesse anymore but she knew she didn't want to see him that evening. By the time she reached her home, abandoning her car haphazardly on the driveway, she was in a messy state.

She just managed to get through the front door before she threw up everywhere, covering most of her hallway with the contents of her stomach. Crying some more, she childishly ignored the mess and headed upstairs to shower and change. As she took her second shower of the day, she forced herself to get control, wishing she had a secret stash hidden somewhere that could take the edge off of her feelings.

She spent the next couple of hours hugging her toilet before she realised she was freezing cold. She didn't have much control over what she was doing as she dug through boxes in her closet finding one of Jesse's Treble sweatshirts. It didn't help her feel any better but the shivering somewhat stopped as she climbed into her bed.

As she looked through some photos on her phone, she came to a decision which she knew Jesse wouldn't like. But she knew she had to do it. She climbed out of bed, and walked back over to her closet, reaching for a small wooden box on the bottom shelf. Taking it back to bed with her, she lifted the lid and pulled out a notepad of expensive writing paper and her favourite purple ink pen. She began to cry as she started to write.

After an hour, she had a small pile of letters, all written in her neat handwriting, some splattered with a teardrop but for the most part she was confident that it could all be read coherently. She left her bed again to replace the wooden box in her closet and went into her ensuite to wash the ink from her hands. She carefully cleaned up the mess from earlier and tidied up what she could. Remembering the mess downstairs, she held her sore and swollen tummy as she crept downstairs and opened the cleaning closet door. Pulling out a mop and bucket, she quickly filled it from the small, low sink in the tiny room that smelt of pine needles. Dropping a healthy glug of disinfectant into the swirling warm water, she watched as it filled almost to the brim before struggling to lift it into the hallway. She set to and swished the mop back and forth, not entirely sure she was doing a good job.

When she was finished, she carefully put everything away and straightened anything that was out of place in her home, walking through each room and running her fingers over the soft furnishings and works of art she owned.

She went into her pantry and collected all of the alcohol she owned and laid it out on the kitchen counter. Fetching one of her empty water containers that was waiting to go out into the recycling, she began to empty every ounce of alcohol into it, careful not to spill a drop. She collected all of the empty bottles and set them neatly by the back door before wiping down the kitchen. Taking the full container back up to her bedroom, she made her bed neatly, arranging the cushions and pillows so that she could nest nicely in amongst some comfort.

Collecting her water glass from the bathroom, she tipped several measures of her of alcohol into it and downed it in five large gulps, crying out in pain as the hard liquor burned her throat. She held her stomach tightly as the liquid began to swirl around in her belly. Ignoring the screaming in her brain, she refilled her glass three more times, drinking more in one go than most people manage in a week. She began to feel the effects as her eyes glazed over and the room started to spin.

Standing on shaky legs, she looked in her medicine cabinet and pulled out all the pain medication she could find along with a month's supply of sleeping pills. Belching a few times, she headed back to her bed juggling several packets and her alcohol bottle. She pulled her phone from her pocket and laid it neatly on her nightstand before she climbed into bed. She opened all of the packets and popped all of the pills out of their foils and shook all the loose tablets out of the bottles and scooped them up into one large pile. She refilled her glass with more of the potent alcohol mix and grabbed a handful of pills, tipping them into her mouth and washing them down with her drink, hissing as she swallowed.

She finished what she needed to do and was struggling to stay awake as she cleared the mess up from her bedroom, throwing what she could manage into the trash and not caring anymore about the bits that missed.

She climbed back into bed and scooped up her phone, quickly scrolling to her text messages. Sending the last text message she'd written to Jesse before she started drinking, she laid back down and felt strangely at peace as she closed her eyes. She knew what she was doing was right for Jesse. He could be free of her now and it was her final gift to him.

**.o0o.**

Jesse's phone dinged just as he finished work. Dreading what the message said, knowing he hadn't been in contact with Chloe for a few hours, he waited until he was in his car before he read her text.

_'__I just want to say that I love you. I've always appreciated you. I know I haven't shown it as often as I should have but I do. Thank you for loving me in the way you did. I'm sorry that I ruined your life. I won't be around anymore to give you grief. I've left a letter to explain. I guess this is goodbye. XO'_

Jesse rolled his eyes at the dramatics and decided to wait until he got home before calling her. He wanted ten more minutes of peace. He pulled out of the parking lot and turned right but something nagged him to take action on the latest spiel from the drama queen. He called her cell from the car but it rang and rang before finally clicking onto voicemail. He tried again and the same thing happened. It wasn't unusual for her to do this but something felt uneasy with him.

At the next set of lights, he turned his car around and headed off in the direction of Chloe's townhouse, tapping his fingers impatiently as he drove. He wondered if she'd received another rejection letter and was about to kick off. He took the drive time to mentally prepare himself to talk her down, off of the proverbial ledge, when he reached her home but was surprised when he arrived to find the place in semi darkness. He pulled up to the kerb and quickly got out of the car, wondering where Chloe had gone to in her car earlier that day to leave it parked the way it was.

Using his keys, he entered through her front door and called out her name.

"Chloe?"

He waited for the sounds of her crying but instead inhaled the fresh pine scent of her cleaning products. It was eerily quiet.

"Chloe?" He called again. "Sweetheart, where are you?"

Looking quickly around the downstairs rooms, he saw that everything was its usual neat, orderly self. He climbed the stairs to the upper floor, dragging his feet and look around him carefully in case a flying object should come hurtling towards him.

"Chloe?"

He tapped on her bedroom door and pushed it open, wincing as the strong smell of alcohol caught him off guard as he stepped inside.

"You awake sweetheart?" He asked softly as he walked into the room. Seeing her laying on her bed, curled up on her side, he walked over towards her and scooped the hair off of her face.

He quickly realised that something was very, very wrong.

She was cold. Too cold. He felt her forehead with the back of his hand and it was like ice. Pushing two fingers onto her neck, he couldn't feel even the hint of a pulse and panic flooded his system.

"Chloe, wake up!" He yelled as he laid his hands on her, shaking her roughly. She lolled under his touch but it was obvious what had happened. "What the fuck ..."

Jesse ran his hands through his hair as he tried to regain focus.

"Chloe, what have you done?" He sobbed as the enormity of what he was looking at begin to register. Reaching for his phone, he looked around the room as he dialled. "Yes, hello, I need an ambulance please ... my girlfriend ... she's not responding ... no, I haven't ... the address is forty maple heights, it's off ... oh okay ... no, I haven't ... she's cold ... no, ice cold as in ... yes I think she is dead ... because she's blue ... I've tried that ... please hurry ... yes, I'll stay on the line ... no, I'm her boyfriend ... Jesse Swanson ... she's Chloe Marie Beale ... yes, that's the one ... yes, please, discretion would be appreciated ... no, I can't hear them ... a minute away ... thank you ... yes, yes, I'm still here ... I need to go where ... oh yes, of course, the front door ... yes, I can hear them ... thank you ... yes, they are coming in now ... I'll hand you over."

Jesse handed his phone to the paramedic as they entered Chloe's home. Jesse indicated that Chloe was upstairs and while one paramedic spoke on the phone, the other followed Jesse up to the second floor.

"If you can wait outside sir." The first paramedic said as she pushed past Jesse as he waited just inside the door. He took his phone that was offered back to him as he blindly staggered out of the room. He sat down hard at the top of the stairs and listened as the two paramedics tried to rouse Chloe even though it was clear that she was no long breathing.

Jesse laid his head against the wall and begin to cry with relief.

He was finally free.

**.o0o.**

* * *

_A/N - Chloe is one of my favourite characters in the Pitch Perfect world (I have to support a fellow ginger!) and it broke my heart to have to bump her off in this fiction, but there's always a reason and I hope anyone reading this doesn't hate me too much. Until next time ... xx_


End file.
